Funeral anxiety can stem from many different issues, including social anxiety which can make you feel uncomfortable when asked to deliver a eulogy or play another important role in the funeral. You may feel uncomfortable expressing your emotions around people that you haven't seen for a long time.
If you've ever felt anxious at a funeral, you're not alone. There are many different reasons why people might feel stressed or nervous in the lead up to the funeral of a loved one, friend or acquaintance.
There are many reasons why people may feel afraid of attending a funeral: You may feel anxious about being surrounded by sadness and mourning and by the idea that it may overwhelm you. You may have been requested to read a eulogy or help with the planning of the funeral and you may have anxieties over these tasks.
Here are some examples of what NOT to say at a funeral:
S/he has had a long meaningful life. Don't worry too much, you will be fine. I have been through this, and I'm sure you too can be fine. Look on the bright side, she is in a better place now.
Nurture your senses: listen to music or the sounds that abound in nature. Engage in prayer or meditation: tap into, or get reacquainted with, your spiritual side. Reduce your list of necessary activities and chores: now is the time to delegate tasks to others, so you can devote your time to self-care.
Bring tissues or a handkerchief
Crying isn't always pretty. It's entirely okay, and you shouldn't feel worried about what you look like when you're feeling a strong emotion. However, bringing tissues or a handkerchief helps you feel more in control of your appearance when you're struggling with tears.
Funerals are emotional events and if there is family conflict, estranged relationships, or other reasons that can make the occasion uncomfortable, then the better personal choice may be to not attend. Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure.
It's typically considered more important to attend the funeral service. Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable only attending the funeral; however, you might like the chance to speak to the family in a more relaxed setting at the visitation. As long as you're kind and respectful, the choice is yours.
A trigger is anything in our environment that brings up the pain of our loss. It can be a sight, smell, taste, or sound that brings up a certain feeling or emotion for us. Triggers can come up out of no where and hit us like a ton of bricks. Funerals are a common trigger, but they are far from the only trigger.
Sadness. This is perhaps the most common and universal emotion to experience at a funeral. The experience of loss naturally results in sadness, and the more you loved and cherished the one you lost, the more sadness you'll probably feel.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
The body can be prepared and embalmed for traditional services (see Embalming below), dressed and placed in refrigeration for cremation, prepared for body donation or green burials, or arrangements can be made for transport to another state via ground or air travel.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
You can demonstrate your love, attention, and support to a grieving person in a number of ways. While just your presence can be enough, still a kind word, a compassionate touch, or a loving hug can mean much to show the bereaved that you care about and support them.
Ancient days vaccination and the medical facilities were rare. If a person is dead due to prolonged illness the risk of controlling the illness was a big challenge. This began the practice of taking bathe and changing into fresh clothes after attending a funeral.