Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
There are a number of reasons why guys pull away when they like you, such as fear of commitment, loss of interest, doubts about what they want, or unresolved feelings about an ex.
Of course, people can still pull away even in long-term relationships. For some, “distance is a way to deal with conflict,” Spector says. Your partner might withdraw from you and the relationship after an argument, until you've both cooled off.
Avoiding past hurt
For some men, pulling away could be a strategy to avoid getting hurt. They may have been hurt in a committed relationship before. So by pulling away, they're trying to avoid hurting themselves again.
Sometimes men try to act distant due to fear of rejection. He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant.
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The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they'll feel tomorrow, or the next day.
Three months is probably the most frequent time that I see people breaking up, deciding they don't want to step it up to a more serious stage, which does include agreeing to be in a committed relationship, saying “I love you,” and more of a groove.
Men will often come back after pulling away. This is because they've had the time to better understand their situation and their feelings, and now they're ready to pull down their defenses and take the next step.
If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.
“I've been feeling a bit off because of your behavior recently. I'd like to talk about it. We could have a break if you're not willing to talk about it, see where things go from there on.”
Some guys catch on that you want something more serious, so they disappear. If you are still asking why he pursued me then disappeared – this is a likely reason. Men often do this thinking it's nicer and less confrontational than some ugly emotional scene when you realize he's not going to stick around.
He's acting out his insecurity. When a guy runs hot and cold on you, it's highly likely that he's insecure. He is blowing hot when he's feeling strong emotions about you. After the first few months of dating, he begins to panic.
Why does he act interested one minute and distant the next? Perhaps he assumed you were in a relationship, so he convinced himself it would be a waste of time to ask you out. This situation is quite close to the feeling that a person is out of your league.
You need to find out first if he is putting in no effort because he is losing interest, or he genuinely has a lot of other things going on in his life that are taking more of his time. It is important to open up a conversation and check in with him to see how things are going with him and if anything is bothering him.
When a guy begins to grow feelings for someone he may not want other people to know that just yet, which is a reason why he'll act distant around you. His friends may be immature and tease him about being a simp or something along those lines. He doesn't want that and thus won't want them to know he likes you.
Sometimes the stress outside of your relationship becomes so overbearing that you decide you need to put things on hold to focus on it. This can lead a guy to suddenly becoming cold and distant. Make sure you pay attention to what's going on in a guys life outside of his relationship with you.
He fears commitment or loves his freedom more
Perhaps he feels the relationship has moved forward too fast. Or, he probably feels he is still young and does not want to settle down. Some men love the thrill of the chase and the new bonding as they find it more enticing, but they fear serious long-term relationships.