Narcissists require constant attention, admiration, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply, to maintain their inflated self-image. It is almost impossible to provide a narcissist with the level of supply they require, so when they inevitably feel you are not giving them enough, they may discard you.
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
Narcissists will often break up with their partners after they have become hooked on the constant praise and the feeling of being wanted.
When it comes to relationships, narcissists view them as sources of validation, admiration, and reassurance. They don't have any emotional investment in you or the relationship at all. You are just a source of validation, admiration, and reassurance and that is the reason that they can discard you so easily.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
When a narcissist discards you, it is abusive because they are trying to hurt you. When you discard a narcissist, it is an act of self-love because you are trying to protect yourself from them. As a general rule, if the narcissist is the one who discarded you, they will feel powerful, superior, and dominant.
The narcissist's final discard is hurtful and often downright brutal. This person will leave you possibly at the worst moment possible, and, typically, they'll blame it all on you.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Now let's discuss why the discard may be permanent. The narcissist likes to be the one in control and if they think you have caught onto them and figured them out, then they are unlikely to come back after the discard. You are a liability at this point and can no longer be a source of supply to boost their egos.
It is never a good feeling when a narcissist walks out of a relationship. They can break up so abruptly that you may be left behind wondering why things had moved to the point of no return. Rather than drowning yourself in self-pity, you need to take proper action.
It may sound harsh, but many of the features of NPD are antithetical to love. Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional.
A narcissist will commonly try to incite guilt and shame. They may spin the narrative to blame their partner for why the relationship failed. This maintains their grandiose perception of themselves and gives them the leverage to try and convince others to empathize with them.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Narcissistic partners usually have difficulty really loving someone else, because they don't truly love themselves. They are so focused on themselves that they cannot really “see” their partner as a separate person. They tend to only see the partner in terms of how they fill their needs (or fail to fill their needs).
There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim. Some people get married to narcissists and stay with them for years, while others leave or are left after a few weeks or months.
Over time, narcissists usually push their responsibilities onto their significant others. Narcissists don't care for the boring routines of life. Such as house work, paying bills, looking after children etc. And over time, ALL these things become you're responsibility.
Narcissists are control freaks. Having a relationship implies a give-and-take and a train of compromises which the narcissist acutely interprets to mean a loss of control over his life.To reassert control, the narcissist initiates other relationships in which he dictates the terms of engagement (love affairs).
They Want to Keep Tabs On You. Narcissists feel entitled to maintaining power and control over the people that they abuse for as long as they see fit. Because of this, it is very common for narcissists to find a way back into your life after they discarded you so that they can keep tabs on you.
Narcissist Discard and Silent Treatment
The narcissist will give you the silent treatment after discard as a way to punish you. Ignoring someone is the most effective way to hurt someone.
A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away. Or, you've inflicted a narcissistic injury on them. A narcissist has a fundamentally unstable sense of self.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Narcissists will never miss you because they do not develop healthy feelings for people. They only care about themselves. They have almost zero emotional attachment to other people and only care about themselves. However, they will miss the way you make them feel.