To try and tackle the “divide” in the relationship, the borderline sufferer might begin to withdraw or pick fights. This, they hope, will make their partner “fight” for the relationship, and in turn help them to stop worrying. This is where the relationship could begin to fall apart.
Having a diagnosis of BPD not only may increase the risk of violence against others but against self.
They may kick and scream and say 'I hate you,' like a 5-year-old who doesn't know what else to say or do. It might be hard to be the bigger person if you feel you have been treated unfairly, but try to see the wounded inner child in them. They are crying inside when they are screaming at you.
People who have BPD tend to view others in all-or-nothing, black-and-white terms. This self-protective defense mechanism aims to help people with BPD protect themselves from getting hurt in relationships.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you.
Common triggers of BPD rage can include: Emotionally challenging situations that seem threatening. Situations where the person fears abandonment. BPD splitting, which is a type of black-and-white thinking where people see things as either all-good or all-bad.
It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Conflict is never fun, but when you have borderline personality disorder, the sense of pain or rejection from confrontation can seem heightened.
To try and tackle the “divide” in the relationship, the borderline sufferer might begin to withdraw or pick fights. This, they hope, will make their partner “fight” for the relationship, and in turn help them to stop worrying. This is where the relationship could begin to fall apart.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Although BPD patients commonly use emotional manipulation techniques, their intent is not to manipulate others – but, in fact, to cry for help. Some of the things people with BPD do that are commonly viewed as being “manipulative” are threatening suicide, self-harm, and more.
People who have BPD often have tremendous issues with anger — both expressing it and being the recipient of it. They will often go to extreme lengths to make people happy in order to avoid having people get angry at them. The flip side of that is that they themselves can go into a drop dead rage at the drop of a hat.
For someone with BPD, anger can be extreme, sudden, and incredibly difficult to control. People with BPD often struggle to control their emotions, leading to intense and inappropriate anger. Even a minor inconvenience or perceived slight can trigger aggressive behavior in someone with BPD.
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
It is now universally recognized by mental health professionals as a debilitating illness that affects every aspect of a person's life. Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging.
One of the key features of BPD is the push-pull dynamics, which occur when individuals have a strong urge for intimacy and deep connection with someone, but their fear of rejection and abandonment leads them to push the person away.
An individual developing borderline personality disorder begins to have difficulty managing their emotions, which impacts their relationships, their self-image, and their behaviors. Their emotions are extremely intense, which can lead to episodes of depression, anxiety or anger that may persist for days or even weeks.
The high-conflict people that are borderline have the mood swings with a target of blame. That's where you really see the biggest problems in the workplace and relationships, romance, et cetera, is they just focus all those intense emotions on you. They may tell the world that you're a horrible, evil person.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
This can be tremendously frustrating for friends and family members. It's important to understand that the person with BPD isn't consciously lying—he truly believes his viewpoint is correct even when it's blatantly false.