It's about showing respect In many cultures by having the conversation has shown to be a very respectful gesture towards the mother and the father. It shows them that your intentions are true and that you would like to be part of the family.
Asking her dad for his permission is meant to show respect but it's now perceived by some as sexist.
It's better to ask her father for his blessing sooner rather than later. If you ask him mere weeks before the wedding, he may feel hurt and excluded from the festivities. Thus, play it safe and sit with your future father-in-law a week or two before the proposal.
Asking both parents for permission shows that you respect them equally, and are serious about marriage and combining your families. This is huge step in your life and your future spouse's.
“By asking permission to marry, you're essentially saying, 'I respect you and your thoughts on this matter and I want to hear what you think because I respect and value your judgment,'" explains Dr. Orbuch. “By doing this, you're also building goodwill and respect at the beginning of the marriage for the future.”
Asking the permission of your partner's parents is a long-standing tradition dating back to when women had little choice in who they married, and the engagement was more of a transaction between two men. Despite the less than romantic history, many proposers still choose to ask permission today.
That is no longer the case, of course, but many people still partake in the tradition to ask a father to marry his daughter. However, nowadays the hopeful grooms typically ask for the father's blessing as a gesture of respect, rather than feeling compelled to request permission to marry by society.
If he starts talking about things you both love, enjoy doing, or like to try together, it's a classic sign that he's ready to propose. When he refers to you as “we”, it's like saying you are an inseparable part of him. Pay attention to him when he talks with friends or family.
Ask for his blessing to propose marriage.
Instead of asking permission, simply explain your wish to spend the rest of your life with his daughter. Tell him that you'll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too.
The friends
Something that's really important for men to consider when they're planning to propose is who they tell. They might want to keep it to themselves, but some might want some help or advice of his friends or the bride's friends – this is where he's got to be picky!
Call me old-fashioned… but if you want to honor tradition, then you should consider asking her father first. If it's possible, talk to her dad; tell him how much she means to you and ask him for her daughter's hand in marriage.
Earnshaw offers a shorter time frame—she says people typically date for about two years on average before getting engaged—but she emphasizes that every relationship is different. "I have worked with couples who have gotten engaged within six months and those that have waited much, much longer."
If your girl is someone who puts a lot of value on family and tradition, then asking her father is an absolute must. She'll love the gesture and will be flattered by your manners. If she's a woman who values family but doesn't hold on tight to traditions, then make sure her family is aware of the proposal.
The good news is, there are no rules about parents meeting before a couple gets engaged.
No, that isn't necessary. You CAN do it if you want their opinion on whether she will like the ring, or if you want to involve them somehow in the process (the wisdom of that will depend both on her relationship with her parents, and your relationship with her parents). However, it's not thought of as necessary.
If you want to get engaged, talk to your partner about why it's important to you and why you think it should be happening soon. Be honest and direct. If you want the spontaneity and the romance, you can get that in the actual proposal. And, if all goes well, there will be plenty of time for it throughout your marriage.
One tradition of marriage is first seeking the approval of your significant other's (SO) parents prior to proposing. If you're not the most outgoing person, you may be shaking in your shoes – especially if your SO's father or mother is an especially harrowing character.
“My favorite way to set up a proposal is to start with a story or anecdote that captures the essence of your relationship,” Blum says. “It could be the moment you realized you were in love or a funny story that always makes you both laugh. Pick something that communicates what makes your relationship unique.
We discovered that, on average, couples date for about 30 months or just over 2.5 years before engaging! But the national average doesn't speak for each state individually, and that's where the results really surprised us.
How long before a man knows he wants to marry you? Some men wait until they're sure you are the one for them – they don't want to risk wasting time on someone who is just “good enough.” Others might make a proposal decision after only six months. Make sure you don't feel rushed and it's not awkward.
These days, it's less a question of permission and more a sign of respect. It is a huge moment in any person's life, and it's still incredibly popular for one partner to honor the other's parents in this way—and enable them to be part of the process.
Explain how much your girlfriend means to you, then ask her parents if you can have her hand in marriage. Prepare to answer any questions they may have, like how soon you're going to propose or how much money you have to spend on a wedding.