It is believed that an open window in the same room as a death bed is needed to allow the souls of family members who have already died to come to retrieve the soul of the person who is dying, to take them into the next life. Others believe that if the room is closed, the soul will be trapped and unable to move on.
Regardless of one's beliefs about the afterlife, there is something comforting and revitalizing about opening a window for that certain loved one after he or she has died. It's a gesture of letting go, but also letting in; bringing in the fresh air from the outside world and the promise of another day.
Family members prepared the house for death by stopping clocks and covering windows. Of course, mirrors were covered. This was to prevent the deceased's spirit from being trapped. Like the cultures mentioned above, some people thought that looking into a mirror could lead to their death.
Some people prefer to be alone
My own research found that while hospice-at-home nurses believe that no one should die alone, they had seen cases where a person died after their family members had left the bedside. The nurses believed that some people just want to be on their own when they are dying.
In the hours before death, most people fade as the blood supply to their body declines further. They sleep a lot, their breathing becomes very irregular, and their skin becomes cool to the touch. Those who do not lose consciousness in the days before death usually do so in the hours before.
This stage is also one of reflection. The dying person often thinks back over their life and revisits old memories.4 They might also be going over the things they regret.
The first organ system to “close down” is the digestive system. Digestion is a lot of work! In the last few weeks, there is really no need to process food to build new cells. That energy needs to go elsewhere.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
Go Ahead and Cry
It opens a pathway to a conversation that could be once in a lifetime. Additionally, the loved one who's dying knows others are sad. It could be worse for him or her to not see the family cry; tears are a sign of love and understanding of what's happening.
Use gentle touch
Whenever you need to move or turn your loved one speak softly to her first to tell her what is going to happen, then touch her arm or hand gently to prepare her for the motion. You can hold your loved one's hand or offer very gentle massage as long as that seems to be soothing to her.
The practice of forcing eyelids closed immediately after death, sometimes using coins to lock the eyelids closed until rigor mortis intervenes, has been common in many cultures. Open eyes at death may be interpreted as an indication that the deceased is fearful of the future, presumably because of past behaviors.
Wakes began as vigils after death, a way of watching over a loved one after their passing and spending a private moment together before burial. Wakes used to be held in private homes, but it is much more common for a wake to be held at a funeral home today.
The term “wake” is often used interchangeably with “visitation” or “viewing,” but a modern-day wake allows each individual to mourn in the way that heals their own pain, and to do it in a setting surrounded by others that loved and mourn the deceased in their own way as well.
For approximately the first 3 hours after death the body will be flaccid (soft) and warm. After about 3-8 hours is starts to stiffen, and from approximately 8-36 hours it will be stiff and cold. The body becomes stiff because of a range of chemical changes in the muscle fibres after death.
Those who spend a lot of time with the dying all tend to say the same thing — you don't need to say anything. "Don't say a lot. Let them talk," Maria Pate from Hospice Volunteers says. "Or let the silence be there."
Rigor mortis generally disappears 36 hours after death, followed by a phase known as secondary flaccidity. The late post-mortem phase is when the body tissue starts disintegrating and is primarily describable as decomposition or putrefaction, adipocere formation, mummification, or skeletonization.
"When we imagine our emotions as we approach death, we think mostly of sadness and terror," says psychological scientist Kurt Gray of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But it turns out, dying is less sad and terrifying – and happier – than you think."
That final tear might reflect the sadness of leaving, but it might reflect seeing the face of God or the joy of greeting loved ones on the other side. An experience I have witnessed more than once is that of a dying person fixing their eyes on something beyond us in the room.
Create memories and stories
If your mum or dad feels up to it, you could sit down and talk about their favourite memories and look back over their life. You could also ask them to tell you about their thoughts and dreams for you and your future.
It is best to think of the decedent's belongings, paperwork, and assets as “frozen in time” on the date of death. No assets or belongings should be removed from their residence. Their vehicle(s) should not be driven. Nothing should be moved great distances, modified, or taken away.
According to a research most hospital deaths occur between 3am to 4am. This is the time in a day when the body tries to prepare for the activities of the next day while the brain tries to dispose some information to give space to the future happenings of the next day.
Gasping is a brainstem reflex; it is the last respiratory pattern prior to terminal apnoea. Gasping is also referred to as agonal respiration and the name is appropriate because the gasping respirations appear uncomfortable, causing concern that the patient is dyspnoeic and in agony.
“Our data shows that a dying brain can respond to sound, even in an unconscious state, up to the last hours of life.”
Even when vascular collapse is the primary event, brain and lung functions stops next. The heart is the last organ to fail.