Ghosting doesn't just impact the ghosted; it also is a detriment to the ghoster. The bottom line here is that ghosting is either a passive aggressive way to end a relationship, or it is the “easy way out.” Either way, it's not doing the ghoster any favors in their ability to communicate with others.
Ghosting carries an echo of old rejection. It's painful because it activates—and emulates—a previous hurt or betrayal by someone we didn't just think we could trust but whom we had to trust, often during our formative years.
According to therapists, ghosting can hurt so much because it's human nature to assume we did something to deserve the silence. Self-esteem and the potential you saw in the relationship can impact how much it hurts to get ghosted.
At its worst, ghosting is a trauma that can affect your willingness to trust others again or enter into future relationships. You might find yourself so fixated on getting closure from the ghoster that you can't move forward.
Intentionally ignoring a person without an explanation is one of the most passive aggressive forms of human behavior there is — it denotes a certain disdain for the person being ignored. It suggests a weakness of character and is a red flag that indicates an unresolved issue on behalf of the “ghoster.”
New research reveals a rise in the 'Guilty-Ghoster', as nearly half of those who admitted to ghosting say they regret doing so. Over a third said this was because they felt guilty about their actions and 35% said they were worried they'd hurt their feelings, according to research from dating app Badoo.
After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings. “From the ghoster's perspective, choosing to ghost was a little bit nicer than a more blatant rejection approach,” Dubar said.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
It shows you have no respect for another person's feelings. It say you are inconsiderate and don't care much about the impact or consequences of your actions. It's easier than breaking up but it also shows you have no character when you choose easy over integrity.
Ghosting takes away the opportunity to talk and process, which can allow healing. But without conversation, it can cause someone to question their worth, what they did wrong and did the person ever really like them. This can lead to trauma and other severe emotions like depression or anxiety.”
Ghosting hurts; it's a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.
Recently, a new term that is considered worse than ghosting has emerged in the dating scene. This new trend is known as 'Zombied. ' It describes someone who tries to rekindle a dead relationship by sending out-of-the-blue texts on social media after disappearing for a long time.
Being ghosted can cause serious emotional injury and long-term mental health implications, including: Low self-esteem: Being ghosted can lead to feelings of rejection and abandonment, causing a person to question their own self-worth, looks, skills and personality.
Unwanted thoughts and intrusive memories can subsequently be triggered by being ghosted. These memories come from the Hippocampus, the part of the brain that consolidates memory and constantly adds to it.
It's a power play.
Sometimes a person may choose to ghost someone because they enjoy the sense of power it gives them over the situation, says Manly.
Ghosting demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person's feelings and a lack of empathy for how the ghosting may impact them. They assume that the other person will “get the hint” and can use this to justify their actions.
Ghosting can be considered emotionally abusive because it is a passive yet aggressive relational pattern that leads those who are “ghosted” with negative mental health effects such as low self-esteem, anxiety, betrayal, hurt, and confusion.
Ghosting itself reflects some classic traits of a narcissist, including low self-esteem, the need to have the upper hand in a relationship, and a lack of empathy for the other person. Someone with this personality disorder forms relationships based on how they may benefit them.
If we're being real, it's easier to ignore a problem until it just goes away than having to face an uncomfortable situation, but ghosting is selfish and cowardly. "Though a ghoster's intentions aren't necessarily malicious, the behavior is ultimately selfish and childish," says Meyers.
Ghosting is a form of passive rejection and it's also indicative of emotionally immature people.
If they experience any feelings of guilt, they will address it by engaging in even more avoidant behavior, like blocking their ghostee on social media. They will do anything to avoid being called out or confronted about their ghosting behavior, a trait common in narcissistic ghosters especially.
Ghosters sometimes come back for selfish reasons. They might not want you to move on, or they could be bored and looking for a hookup. Some ghosters come back because they want favors or emotional support. On the other hand, a ghoster could come back if they miss you.
"Ghosting allows for an avoidance of conflicts, an avoidance of explanation and self-introspection." The ghoster avoids having to be kind and compassionate to the other person's feelings.