Less than a relationship, but more than a casual encounter or booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and remains, undefined.
With honesty, situationships can be a freeing way to explore connections without always needing to turn them into something serious or long term. It can be empowering to center yourself and take your time getting to know someone.
A situationship is basically an undefined romantic relationship. Unlike a friends with benefits situation, there can be feelings involved in a situationship, but the terms of the relationship and the end goal of the relationship are not defined.
How long do situationships last? It depends on the two people involved, but you know you're in a situationship when you have been in this setup for more than six months. While it is common to test the waters before committing, staying too long in a situationship does not look promising.
You never know when you're going to see them
Unlike being in a relationship where you might have set dates and plans, a situationship is spontaneous and lacks consistency. You might see a person many times one week and then not see them again for a few weeks.
While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing. A friends-with-benefits relationship is when friends engage in casual sex without taking on the commitment aspect of a relationship. A situationship, on the other hand, lacks a formal label.
The undefined nature of situationships can make them singularly hard to recover from, says Jessica Alderson. As she says, “in situationships, there's often a lack of clear boundaries, commitment, and labels, making it difficult to know where each person stands”.
These types of relationships often lack clear boundaries, commitments, and labels, which can lead to confusion and frustration. While situationships may seem convenient at first, they can quickly turn toxic and leave you feeling unfulfilled.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
The first and most important rule of any situationship is to define what you both want out of it. Are you just looking for a casual fling, or are you hoping for something more serious? Make sure you're on the same page so that you don't end up with hurt feelings down the road. Communication is key.
The lack of clarity and commitment can cause anxiety, uncertainty, and insecurity, leading to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. People in situationships often struggle with understanding their partner's intentions and expectations, leaving them with a constant sense of unease and stress.
He needs some time to be sure of his feelings. Sometimes, guys withdraw from a situation and act uninvolved to be able to see it from a different perspective. By keeping a distance from you, he is trying to see the relationship differently and understand if he really wants to keep this going.
Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
But the slow burn of a situationship coming to an end can be just as painful and it's important to acknowledge that, rather than minimising your feelings. It's really heartbreak over the loss of a fantasy – a wish, a longing, a projection that you had about them, a hope, rather than the person themselves.
If you're feeling down, off, or icky, recognize that you're going through a process of grief and give yourself the support you need to get through it: write in your journal, talk to a therapist, or double-down on your favorite self-care staples, like spending time outdoors, getting a massage, going to dinner with ...
Bilek agrees that an open and frank conversation is the only productive transition from a situationship into something more. “Tell them, 'This is a good partnership for me,' and make sure to ask them how they feel.” Even if the conversation is hard, the resulting clarity will be worth the stress, Romanoff says.
Talk and see each other more
Hang out more often. It's one of the best ways to turn a situationship into a relationship. How can you become closer if you don't see each other often? You can find ways to spend time with each other.
A situationship is an informal arrangement typically between two people that has components of both emotional and physical connection, yet operates outside the conventional idea of being in an exclusive, committed relationship.
You're in a situationship. It's the all-purpose term for your in-limbo love life. You're not really in a relationship with someone, but you're not exactly just hooking up either.
In fact, during the course of that study, only 15 percent of friends-with-benefits relationships transitioned into committed, long-term relationships. The rest either stayed as friends-with-benefits (26 percent), ended up as just friends (28 percent), or had no interaction of any kind anymore (31 percent).
It's been three months or more. Three months is more than enough time to know if you want to commit to someone else. You have an idea of who each other is at this point. If they still “don't know” what they want or what they're looking for, it's in your best interests to walk away.