Toddlers crave connection and touch to help them feel safe and secure. Many toddlers breastfeed to sleep…and back to sleep. And all of this is completely normal.
Toddlers look for comforting sensations that were familiar to them as babies—sucking, touching, skin-to-skin contact—and find a way to repeat them. Kolari explains that these behaviours repeat themselves as a result of forming neural pathways.
Separation anxiety
If your 2 year old seems particularly clingy, you're in good company. It's common for toddlers this age to go through another wave of separation anxiety, making it harder for them to separate from caregivers at sleep times.
Why? Your toddler keeps touching your face because she's seeking comfort. Caressing your face reminds her that she's safe and secure. It's also a way for your toddler to connect with you and make her presence known.
Parasomnias in children are common and may consist of abnormal movements, behaviors, emotions, and autonomic activity during transitions between sleep states, from sleep to wakefulness, or during arousals from sleep.
Children can't be too attached, they can only be not deeply attached. Attachment is meant to make our kids dependent on us so that we can lead them. It is our invitation for relationship that frees them to stop looking for love and to start focusing on growing.
Provide a soothing setting for your toddler's bed, including a favorite lovey such as a stuffed animal or blanket that she finds comforting. Place a nightlight in the room so that the room will not seem scary when the child wakes during the night. Be calm, soothing and brief when the toddler wakes up during the night.
They Get More Sleep
According to Kelly Mom, kids often get more sleep when they co-sleep with parents. This is likely due to the fact that if they wake in the night, they are comforted that mom is nearby and don't need to call out for mom to come soothe them back to sleep in a separate room.
“Wanting to be carried is typical toddler behaviour, she says. We call it 'the circle of security'—they want to go out and be independent, and then come back to feel safe and calm with a parent, and then be independent again.”
Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.
Experts generally recommend around the age of 3 is when children are capable of self-soothing and can move to independent sleeping. Decide if the time is right for your family, and then literally set a date.
Dr. Basora-Rovira says there is no specific age that is “too old” for co-sleeping. She encourages parents to not begin practicing co-sleeping in the first place. And, if you are already co-sleeping with your child, to transition him or her out of your bed and into his or her own room as soon as possible.
They have not yet developed the idea that a hidden object is still there (object permanence). Babies can become anxious and fearful when a parent leaves their sight. Separation anxiety is usually at its peak between 10 and 18 months. It typically ends by the time a child is 3 years old.
Experts believe SAD is caused by both biological and environmental factors. A child may inherit a tendency to be anxious. An imbalance of 2 chemicals in the brain (norepinephrine and serotonin) most likely plays a part. A child can also learn anxiety and fear from family members and others.
They described an infant or young child's reaction to separation as occurring in three phases – protest, despair, then detachment. Although this theory is less popular today, it provides a framework that can help foster parents understand a child's experience.
Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Why do children have a favorite parent? Playing favorites with parents is normal, and usually nothing to worry about. It can even be a sign of healthy development. “It's only when children feel secure in their relationships with both parents that they are free to explore, and experiment, in this way,” Hershberg said.
Overprotective parents may overparent their children because of their own bias toward threats, increased perception of danger, and elevated sensitivity to their child's distress. The parents' constantly high stress levels remind their children of danger and cause anxiety in them8.
There's no need to stay with your child until they fall asleep. Telling them you'll lie down with them for 15 minutes can be the perfect compromise to give them the snuggles they need while still giving you some precious time to yourself at night. And don't underestimate the benefits you'll feel yourself!
What time should a 2-year-old go to bed? A two-year-old should ideally get around 11 to 14 hours of sleep. At this age, your two-year-old might still be taking one nap a day at this age, so depending on what time your child takes a nap, the ideal bedtime would be around 6 pm-7:30 pm.