They may be overlooked in terms of parental time, attention or special treatment. Some children may develop a habit of being extra-helpful, or always present with their parent, to ensure they get noticed. Others might show their displeasure at being overlooked by getting angry or aggressive.
To compensate for a perceived lack of attention, middle children may either act rebellious or try to people-please. Their behavior may be partially based on their older sibling's personality.
When primary caregiver differentiates between their children, it gets very frustrating for the middle child. Every child has a need of being loved, cared by their parents, fail to get these basic needs fulfilled increase frustration, anger and aggressiveness in children.
Middle children can have less defined personalities than their older and younger siblings. According to Jeffrey Kluger, author of "The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us," middle children have less defined personalities than their older and younger siblings.
The stereotype is that parents will overlook the middle child because the oldest has the most responsibility or is the trailblazer while the youngest gets all the attention as the baby of the family.
Characteristics of a Middle Child
They're good at being mediators and want fairness in situations. They're also trustworthy friends and work well as team members. Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do.
Research shows that the order of birth matters: the middle child is the most prone to problems. There's a stereotype that the oldest child is spoiled, the youngest child is also spoiled because they want attention, and the middle children are left behind or ignored.
They tend to feel left out
“They serve no clear family function. Thus, they may receive less attention from parents and oftentimes feel ignored and neglected.” In the eyes of the middle child, oldest siblings reap all the privileges and the babies get away with everything and need so much help.
Popular culture imagines they are forgotten, rebellious, or unable to measure up to their older or younger siblings. In fact, stereotypes often tell us that middle children aren't as smart, connected to the family, capable as leaders, or likely to follow rules as their older or younger siblings.
Middle children are associated with weaker self-esteem, and experts are rightfully concerned about this. On the other hand, middle children are far less likely to be narcissistic than their elder or younger siblings. Studies show they can cope with rejection quite well as a result.
"The stereotypical middle child is more sensitive, more distant from the family, even when they get along well, and often finds a path that's very different from the others, so they have a defined sense of self," says Dr. Daramus.
Middles are used to not getting their own way, and so they become savvy, skillful manipulators. They can see all sides of a question and are empathetic and judge reactions well. They are more willing to compromise, and so they can argue successfully. Since they often have to wait around as kids, they're more patient.
Overall, 38 percent of Americans who are the youngest in their family report they were the favorite, compared to 27 percent of those who were oldest. Middle children are the least likely to say they were a favorite child; only 20 percent believe they were.
Middle children are unfairly stereotyped as apprehensive underachievers who suffer from parental neglect, but research shows that they're actually quite ambitious: Many middle children grow up to be the most successful members of their families, and several have gone onto become some of the most accomplished people in ...
As the middle child, you're cooperative, independent, and empathetic. At the same time, you can be quite rebellious, doing things not expected of you. Dating you is like being dealt a wild card — it's hard to predict how the ride will turn out to be.
Positive Parenting Tips
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as setting the table. Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future. Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
Middle children are less likely to be Introverts (-5.74%) and more likely to be Extraverts (+5.39%). Youngest children are very slightly more likely to be Introverts (+1.13%) than they are Extraverts (-1.07%).
The “middle child syndrome” cliché comes from Adlerian birth order theory. According to Adler, middle children often feel squeezed between their older and younger siblings. They feel like they've been robbed of any position of significance within the family. Middle children can become competitive or rebellious.
During middle childhood, children are likely to show more independence from their parents and family, think more about the future, understand more about their place in the world, pay more attention to friendships, and want to be accepted by their peers.
Compared to their siblings, middle children may be much more agreeable and easygoing in life. They are more extroverted, as well. They don't have to lead the pack, and they don't get the “babying” that their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might: Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex. Experience more peer pressure.
Based on test results of students from 82 different types of families, researchers concluded that the ideal student is a boy with two younger siblings. His next sibling must be a boy, fewer than two years younger than he is. The third child must be a girl, born no fewer than three years after her older brother.