"As we become adults, we have less and less environments where those ingredients are at play." Adults with jobs, kids, and a collection of other responsibilities also simply have less time available for making friends.
Research tells us that, for both men and women, the age of 25 is when most of us start losing friends. “Suddenly, your friends disappear, or you all start taking new life directions as you graduate from college,” Jackson says.
While it is sad to think about losing friends as we get older, losing friends in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and even 50s is perfectly normal. In fact, it's even regarded as healthy and shows that you're maturing.
Lack of time
When we're in our 40s or older, we often have little time to meet others. You might have a long list of responsibilities such as work, raising children or teenagers, and spending time with partners and family members. Even if you still have the energy to meet new people, other people your age might not.
No one should feel like it's abnormal to have no friends in their 40s, as it is completely normal to come to a point in life where friends and connections make up a different part of your life than they did earlier.
Research suggests that the number of close friends we need to feel that we have enough is somewhere between three and five. Not only that, but adults with four or five friends enjoy the highest levels of life satisfaction and those with three close friends are not far behind.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
When researchers interviewed adults about making friends in a recent study, the most important challenge cited was a lack of trust. That is, people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger.
If you feel like you don't have friends or struggle with a sense of loneliness, you're not alone. As an adult, it might seem difficult or impossible to make new connections, but if you're willing to put in the effort, you can certainly build new relationships.
And it's certainly not uncommon to lose many of the friends you made as a young adult as your interests change and people's lives go in different directions. Careers and family schedules often become the center of our lives, making it difficult to cultivate new relationships and grow social circles in adulthood.
Published in Perspectives on Psychological Science, a study found that people's expectations from interpersonal relationships undergo considerable changes as they age — resulting in them often feeling lonelier as they grow older, even if they're not alone.
Often getting left out can result from simple miscommunications: Maybe your friends thought you were too busy with your job to go shopping on a weekday. Perhaps you accidentally texted them the wrong date or time for an event, and they planned something else without you.
The reason you have no friends may be because you are shy, uncomfortable interacting with others, or simply don't go places that would lead to meeting new people. You don't have friends may have a lot to do with your mindset.
Still, the early 20s are prime friendship years for good reason, experts say. It's often the point when people are, for the first time, on their own in a new job or community and looking for connections.
How Many Friends Do You Need? There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you.
39% have 3-5 close friends. 18% have 6-9 close friends. 27% have 10 or more friends.
The most common reason isn't tension; it's just that friendships fizzle out, both experts say. Friends move, get a new job, start a family and may just gradually stop talking to each other. One study found we lose about half our friends every seven years, Franco says.
Whether you're 35 or 75, it's never too late to fall madly (or gently and even sacredly) in love. Just ask actress Ellen Burstyn and a host of other women who found themselves in the heat of romance when they least expected it. My mother met the love of her life when she was 84.
Most notably, researchers found that loneliness rates peak among people in their 20s, and reach their lowest point among those in their 60s. Many people also experience a spike in lonely feelings around their mid-40s.