Relationship expert Rachael Lloyd from eharmony says romantic rejection is one of the most painful types of rejection. "It literally cuts to the very heart of who we are and how attractive we deem ourselves to be," says Lloyd. "And no one is exempt.
Rejection destabilizes our need to belong, leaving us feeling unsettled and socially untethered. Therefore, we need to remind ourselves that we're appreciated and loved so we can feel more connected and grounded.
Notably, rejection in a relationship can lead to emotional distress, sadness, or depression. It can affect your self-esteem and confidence levels. These signs are the psychological effects of rejection and may lead to significant problems in your life if not taken care of.
The pain of rejection is partially due to how isolating it feels. When you're going on date after date, you might start to compare yourself to those who have found a partner. “To give yourself grace and compassion, I would say release yourself from comparison,” Bryant says.
Social and romantic rejection can be especially traumatic and negative for our self esteem. “Humans are inherently social creatures. We crave connection and meaning to others. When faced with rejection, or lack of acceptance, it's hard of us to not internalize negative thoughts about our own self-worth.
Rejection can take a major toll on your self-esteem and often leads to deep emotional wounds and wounds in your spirit that open up doors that cause you to experience other negative emotions, including depression, fear, doubt, isolation, self-pity, suicidal thoughts, people pleasing, double-mindedness, eating disorders ...
Yet psychiatrists and neuroscientists currently divide romantic rejection into two general phases: protest and resignation/despair.
Psychiatrists have long divided romantic rejection into two phases: “protest” and “resignation/despair”.
Most people start to feel better 11 weeks following rejection and report a sense of personal growth; similarly after divorce, partners start to feel better after months, not years. However, up to 15 percent of people suffer longer than three months (“It's Over,” Psychology Today, May-June, 2015).
There may be a sense of humiliation (feeling like a fool), intense emotional distress (profound unhappiness), and low self-esteem (believing that one is unlovable). In many ways, romantic rejection has parallels to bereavement, i.e., mourning the loss of a loved one.
Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks, and can also contribute to aggression and poor impulse control, as DeWall explains in a recent review (Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2011).
Romantic rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same.
In their May 7, 2018, editorial, these veteran researchers and journal editors offer their take on rejection psychology with the “Five Stages of Rejection”—Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance —modeled after the “Five Stages of Grief,” developed by psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
Trauma: Long-term rejection or rejection that results in extreme feelings may contribute to trauma and can have serious psychological consequences. For example, children who feel consistently rejected by their parents may find it difficult to succeed at school and in relationships with their peers.
Finally, rejection can cause great emotional discomfort, such as anger, grief, and humiliation, which can be overpowering and difficult to deal with. In conclusion, rejection is a painful human experience that can be even more intense than a breakup with a romantic partner.
The five stages of grief model (or the Kübler-Ross model) states that those experiencing grief go through a series of five emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
A hopeless romantic is someone who continues to believe in love, no matter the struggles they might have experienced in the past. They choose to see the positive in relationships over the negative, believing wholeheartedly that love conquers all.
Many scientists believe that the body chemistry that ignites a couple's sexual and emotional attraction usually lasts about two or three years but can start changing as soon as a few months after meeting. Some lucky couples report staying in love for two decades, but that's not the norm.
You'll be more confident in the future.
Sometimes the dating scene can feel like a game of Rejection Therapy, and just like the game, it ultimately makes you stronger. No one wants to be blown off by 30 guys in 30 days, but the more you get turned down, the less hurtful it becomes.
Rejection makes us stronger. We change the way we see things, and we can use it to change our lives. People do not grow stronger when everything is working for them, we change and we grow when something is not going well. When we see rejection as an opportunity, we can learn and be a better version of ourselves.
As guys, being rejected is a failure of their masculinity and when this happens, men tend to become aggressive and broil the oppressor. When a woman rejects a man, he feels unimportant and unappreciated.
Rejection breeds obsession. But the truth is that rejection is protection. No one likes rejection. Most hate it, despising it so much that in phobic fear, they'll do anything, often to no avail, to protect themselves from it.
Feeling rejected can add to depression, and depression can perpetuate feelings of rejection. Rejection is an inevitable part of life. But it can still be hurtful, even when you're in a great headspace.