You shouldn't lie about Santa because you are encouraging your children, usually with made-up proof, to believe a morally ambiguous lie. I'm not alone in being devastated learning of my parents' elaborate deceit about Santa, leaving me to wonder what other lies they had told.
Although the Santa sham is meant to bring magic to kids' holidays, parents should not lie to their children about Santa because it improperly incentivizes good behavior while ensuring disappointment and broken trust upon discovery.
Research shows that the vast majority of American parents promote a false belief in Santa Claus, and most small children accept that story as real. In fact, research shows that most parents work very hard to perpetuate the myth of Santa.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
It also provides opportunities for shared belief and play, reliving and sharing childhood memories, and encouraging empathy, kindness and generosity. Believing in Santa Claus can also benefit children's development as an avenue for creativity, imagination and play.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
Most Americans (67%) stopped expecting Santa to shimmy down their chimney by the time they entered seventh grade. Half (49%) of Americans say they stopped believing in Santa before the age of 10 – with a quarter (23%) reporting that they lost sight of him between the ages of seven (10%) and eight (13%).
Santa is real in the sense that he was an actual person. Otherwise known as Saint Nicholas, his story goes all the way back to the 3rd century. He was a monk who was born in 280 A.D. in modern-day Turkey. As an only child, he was given great affection by his parents.
Some tweens hold onto their childhood beliefs for as long as they possibly can. The truth is that if your children are asking questions like "Is Santa real?", they probably already know the truth or have an idea about the reality of the tradition. They may just be looking for validation from you.
Adults should not lie to children about Santa. When a child asks the question as to whether Santa is real or not, they're already at a developmental stage to distinguish between reality and fictional characters.
While there are many benefits to protecting children's belief in Santa, it's not OK to lie to children about his existence. Discovering the truth about Santa is part of growing up and a sign that the child is developing critical thinking skills.
Say something like this, “The Santa that you see in books, movies, and in stores is a person in a costume. People dress up in Santa costumes to remind us… …of someone who lived a long, long time ago called St. Nicholas who secretly gave money to people who needed it.”
While everyone is different, according to a recent poll by House Method, the average age kids in the United States stop believing in Santa Claus is 8.5 years. So, chances are good that somewhere around then is the right age for your child to learn the true story about Santa Claus.
As Christmas is right around the corner, Santa Claus who normally brings presents for good kids on Christmas brings a lump of coal for those who have not been good. For decades, parents have warned their children that if they are bad then all they will get for Christmas is a lump of coal.
Because the Elf on the Shelf “moves” each night, belief can sometimes be suspended into thinking that it is real. And for all intents and purposes, the Elf on the Shelf is real. It's a real doll, after all.
The first good news is that Santa Claus does not really care about what you or your children believe, and he will not be upset and will not punish you if you don't believe in him. So there is no harm in not believing.
Simply explain to your child that the gifts are purchased and wrapped by mom and dad, and that you share in the magic of Christmas as a family by spreading joy. Let them know that the Santa they see in the store is someone paid to sit and give children the joy of believing in something magical.
Santa advises that no family member touch their Elf on the Shelf, but he does describe a few rare instances when an adult may use tongs or potholders to help an elf in an urgent situation. Parents: read on to learn about special, few and far between cases where emergency help will be required.
“Are Mom and Dad really Santa?” We know that you want to know the answer and we had to give it careful thought to know just what to say. The answer is no.
"Santa employs elves, but is not one himself. Elves are small; he is big. (But has enough magic about him to fit down chimneys despite his BMI of 30 and insulin-dependent Type 2 diabetes caused by being sponsored for a century by Coca-Cola)."
Where are you on the curve? Santa Claus is coming to town — or so about 85 percent of young American children believe. In interviews, 85 percent of 4-year-olds said that they believed in Santa, 65 percent of 6-year-olds said that they believed, and 25 percent of 8-year-olds said that they believed.
The Age Most Kids Figure It Out
In most cases, eight or nine is the age that children stop believing in Santa, but not for the reasons you'd think. While most parents would probably blame their child's peers for blowing the whistle, it actually has more to do with the normal development of a child's brain.
As experts would tell you, there is no age limit for dolls. It may seem unusual in this day and age, but several 12-year-olds still play with dolls. And in a world where the internet is widespread, this may be a good thing.
Nowadays, kids can reach the big guy in the North Pole by phone. That's right, Kris Kringle has a direct line: 1-605-313-4000.