You could be suffering from Limerence — a cognitive state of obsession and infatuation. You may be fixated with having your feelings reciprocated. You refuse to give up because you know it's meant to be. Very common in the world of Twin Flames.
The reason you can't get over your crush is that you have accidentally trained yourself into a mental habit of constantly seeking them. The excitement and euphoria of that initial romantic connection makes them the central focus of your life, and because it feels so intoxicating and good, you don't resist.
Why do some crushes last so long? The answer to why do some crushes last so long is also closely related to how a crush ends – with increased intimacy. If a person doesn't act on their feelings or meet someone new, the crush can go on for years or even decades.
All of those questioned were aged 18 or over, with the average age of respondents levelling out at 37. Initially, respondents were asked to reveal how many crushes they had experienced in their lifetime so far, to which the average answer was a whopping 17.
Developing a crush is a normal, and oftentimes healthy, part of life. A crush does not necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with your current relationship or that it needs to end simply because you experience such feelings.
The brain chemicals associated with crushes can wreak havoc (or pure bliss, depending on your point of view) on a person for up to two years. If a powerful crush lasts longer than two years, it may actually be what psychologists call limerence.
Rushing your relationship, expecting and giving too much too soon is one of the main ways you might push your partner away. Putting too much pressure on your partner to take long-term decisions when you have only started seeing and knowing each other will make them extremely uncomfortable (Sama, 2014).
So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
You will often witness a spark in their eyes when they are looking at you or having a conversation with you. They will smile at you as if you are art personified. You can tell if someone likes you if you can sense them looking at you even when you are pretending not to notice.
Even though it can end with a broken heart, the drama that leads up to it is exciting and thrilling. But what is too long to have a crush? In reality, according to psychologists, a typical crush usually lasts for FOUR MONTHS. If the feeling persists, what you feel is what we like to call, “being in love.”
Romantic rejection can lead to increased yearning because it stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. New research also suggests the reasoning individuals fall for the unavailable may actually be scientific, some people cant help it.
Yes, sometimes we can choose whom we love. At the same time, powerful emotions drive the way we feel. It can be tough to decide where the feelings end and where our rationality takes over. In stressful times, you can make the choice to keep on loving someone rather than leaving them.
The reason why crushes feel so intense is that the person with the crush craves deep intimacy with their object. It's the kind of closeness that is difficult (but not impossible) to come by in friendship. Imagining that intimacy is euphoric. But with true intimacy, you get to see the best and worst in someone.
Participants described an average of five crushes during this stretch of time and reported about 15% of them turning into dating relationships at some point. They collected a total of over 7,000 reports on these potential partners.
"A sudden rise in dopamine (which causes feelings of exhilaration and anxiety) and an associated increase in cortisol and norepinephrine (the two main stress hormones) causes a sharp drop in serotonin (a mood stabilizer)," says Clair Burley, Ph. D., a UK-based clinical psychologist.
There are five components to attraction and developing a crush: physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and familiarity. We are often drawn to people who are similar to us as well as people who remind us of loved ones whether that be parents, past partners, or friends.
1. Your feelings don't fade. One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW. So basically, if you've been feeling this way about your special person for a looong time, it's definitely possible that you're in love.