Regardless of what other reason your brain may generate for you, the #1 reason why we stay in unhappy marriages is fear. Fear of change, fear of loss, fear of what their future will be like without your spouse. You shouldn't be ashamed of being afraid. Fear is what keeps us from making really bad choices in our lives.
Fear. The threat of physical violence, further emotional abuse, harming your children by depriving them of a nuclear family, and concern about how friends and family will perceive them are commonly-cited reasons why people may choose to stay in an unhappy marriage.
Reason #1: fear
There are various reasons given by couples which stay on regardless, but the main reason given is fear. It's a combination of fear of the unknown, fear of irrevocable change, and most of all, the fear of being alone without a companion or possibly your children.
Most couples wait an average of six years before seeking help. There's an important question you both need to answer if you are facing an ongoing unhappy marriage or divorce. Are you motivated to save your marriage? If so, are you willing to do whatever it takes?
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Yes, a loveless or unhappy marriage can still be revived as long as both partners are committed to doing the work. "Reviving an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage starts first and foremost with a desire to have things change," Caraballo says.
His relationship with us is solely based on His covenant with us. God wants us to remain faithful to our vows because He knows broken hearts, broken marriages, and broken homes can be redeemed for His ultimate glory. Does this mean that God wants us to remain in an unhappy marriage? No.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety and Depression, and Identity and Personality Disorders are some of the most common ways that an unhappy marriage affects you and your mental health. Not only is this incredibly disabling for the people in the marriage, but for the children of the married couple as well.
Miserable Husband Syndrome or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man experiences hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger due to the decrease in testosterone caused by aging (andropause), certain medications, or abnormally-high levels of stress.
Partners in unhappy relationships tend to stay together because they hope things can return to how they used to be, or they try to change each other through criticism and critique, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.
This stage is marked by a widening separation that is marked by distance, frustration, anger and an obvious absence of closeness, acceptance, and love. The Misery Stage is where many couples find themselves considering a marriage separation or divorce.
Fear of conflict.
It is a sad reality that many men (and women) stay in unfulfilling relationships month after month, year after year, because they fear the pain involved in breaking up and moving on. There are lots of reasons to stay in a relationship, but fear of conflict is not one of them.
Yes, a man can walk away from a woman whom he loves. There is more to every relationship than just love. If a man feels insecure, undervalued, disrespected, or unhappy with the relationship, then he might choose to walk out even when he loves his partner.
“To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
Constant Conflict – (Ephesians 5:33)
“If your marriage is filled with conflict, don't give up.” This scripture instructs a husband to love his wife as he loves himself and that his wife must respect him. If your marriage is filled with conflict, don't give up.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
Living in a loveless marriage feels more like being with a roommate who comes and goes without a care for you, or your welfare. There are several reasons why a marriage could become loveless. It could be that one or both has fallen out of love.
You feel a sense of obligation to your spouse and/or your family. You took your marital vows seriously and promised never to divorce, no matter what. Your spouse is dependent on you emotionally or physically. “I can't leave her when she is so depressed.” ”I can't abandon him with all his chronic health issues.”
“An unhappy marriage chronically feels bad. It's like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable,” explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph. D. "Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain.
"A marriage may not be worth saving if your partner refuses to work on anything or take responsibility for creating a joint life," Sherman says. "If they call all the shots and none of your needs are ever heeded, you may decide that the only way to create a healthy relationship is by yourself or with someone new."
Studies show that divorces are equally hard on men and significantly affect their overall health, happiness, and life. In fact, divorce has a more negative connotation for men than women. They suffer more in silence and are likely to develop feelings of resentment and hopelessness after divorce.
One of the steps you may need to take to solve a sexless marriage is going for professional help in marriage counseling or seeing a sex therapist. If your spouse is not supportive and keen on taking the initiative, and the lack of physical intimacy is killing you, then leaving the relationship may be the best way out.