Self-important and conceited, the narcissist exaggerates accomplishments, requires endless praise, and has an uncanny ability to quash the achievements of others. They lack empathy and don't seem aware that you are a whole person with your own needs.
You will not be winning any arguments with a narcissist unless they want you to think that you “won.” Most fights will result in the narcissist name-calling, yelling, becoming extremely emotional, using low-blows that they know will hurt you and possibly even becoming physically aggressive against you.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Arguing with someone who has narcissistic traits can leave you feeling hurt and confused. People on the narcissism spectrum — from those with narcissistic traits to those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — may have an intense desire to win arguments, as it helps keep their ego intact.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Disconnect from the narcissist's emotional energy. Be vague and don't argue back: “That's interesting.” “I understand how you feel.” Sometimes no response is very powerful and will upset them. Insist on calm, respectful tone and words. Leave if they become angry.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
There's no need to worry, though—disarming and outsmarting a narcissist is definitely possible, as long as you have the right tools in your arsenal. We've put together plenty of tips and suggestions to help you get started, so you can put plenty of space between yourself and the narcissist in your life.
The easiest way to do it is to give them attention (the thing they want the most) and then take it away. Start a conversation with them and then turn your focus to another friend or colleague—the narcissist will spiral and try desperately to get their supply of compliments and attention back.
Living with a narcissist may feel difficult, but it's possible to preserve your well-being with strong boundaries, a solid support network, and a therapist who's informed on narcissism. You may also find it useful to attend a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family support group in your area.
Certain things may trigger problems with a narcissist, so it's best to avoid them. Don't argue or confront. Manly finds it's best not to confront a narcissist directly. As difficult as it may be to constantly tiptoe around them, it can be better to manage their need to feel in charge.
Ignoring the narcissist is the most effective way to sever ties from the person, although it is not easy to do. The narcissist will act out when they realize their host is rejecting them and will go to great extremes to reel the victim back in. Remember, you have provided the fuel that propels their disorder.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
Dealing with any form of narcissist can be difficult, but when you see that the narcissist is enraged, do not continue engaging with them. Physically distance yourself from them as much as you can. Ignore them and avoid any interaction with them. Set your boundaries, remembering that they will try to manipulate you.
So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them. So they might feel that the author is talking about them personally or calling them out.