Due to their tendency to project, it is common for an abuser with strong narcissistic traits to ascribe the label of “narcissist” to their target, even claiming that the target is doing the very things that the person with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is doing to them.
7. Do not accept a narcissist false accusation of you. Narcissists are often fond of accusing another of the very things or attitudes they are culpable of.
So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them. So they might feel that the author is talking about them personally or calling them out.
They are insecure and make accusations toward others. When this happens, tell them they are being “narcissistic” and to stop talking to you. If they reach out again, ignore them because there's no point in arguing with pathological liars who don't care about anyone but themselves.
Show this person why calling you narcissistic is hurtful.
You could say, "I understand you're upset with me, but I feel upset by what you said, and I think "narcissistic" is an unfair label. I'd like to talk about this and make sure we're on the same page here."
What can you expect when you do confront a narcissist? Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim.
A narcissist communicator allows little or no space for others. They dominate and hoard conversation time by focusing primarily on what they want to talk about (holding court), while paying little or no interest to other people's thoughts, feelings, and priorities.
Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist's attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.
Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and licensed therapist, wants anyone who is in a narcissistic relationship to stop saying one phrase: "You make me feel." It's a way of expressing yourself that has many permutations, like 'when you say that, you make me feel guilty,' or 'when you do that, you make me feel angry.
Because narcissists' inner guiding voice is so critical and harsh, narcissists try to avoid all responsibility for anything that goes wrong. In order to avoid self-hatred, they project the blame onto someone else.
Accusing You of Being Too Sensitive
Another common form of narcissistic gaslighting is accusing someone of being overly emotional or sensitive. By doing so, the narcissist suggests the person's emotions prevent them from being able to see a situation clearly.
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
They don't stop talking
Since narcissists are constantly seeking approval and favor from their audience, Behary says their constant talking will sound more like a lecture than a conversation. "There's so much showing off and wanting to appear to be very smart, special, knowledgeable, and intuitive," she explains.
Some narcissists will just transition into another way of contacting you if you don't respond to their text messages. They may call, email, message you on social media, or even show up at your home or work (this is a common response if they know you've blocked them).
People who are severely narcissistic don't appreciate feedback. They don't like to be challenged. And they sure as hell don't want to be confronted. Not with their self-centred behaviour or their failure to consider your needs.