INFJs tend to fall hard and fast in love and have incredibly high expectations. They also have difficulty finding people that are right for them because they are introverts and don't strive to meet new people or socialize. INFJs can find beautiful, authentic, and genuine love if they work towards it.
So, high standards aren't the only reason INFJs might still be single. This next one has to do with their introverted nature. Frankly, a lot of us INFJs wait for other people to make the first move.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough. In some cases, it's a misunderstanding.
Therefore, when looking for a romantic partner, INFJ personalities are usually attracted to people who share their enthusiasm for knowledge and make the INFJ feel seen. An ideal partner for an INFJ doesn't have to love the same music or books they do, but they must be a great conversationalist.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
When I surveyed INFJs about their flirting styles, more than anything, they expressed a deep desire to connect emotionally with someone they liked. They will be more emotionally open, express more of their deeper longings, and become more vulnerable with you if they like you.
At just 1.5% of the US population, INFJs can be hard to find. Some of us will go our entire lives without running into one! But if you're bound and determined to encounter this, the rare blue diamond of personality types, here are some ways to increase your chances.
They'll Get to Know You Deeply
They want to know what motivates you, what your deepest fears are, and what makes you feel most alive. INFJs want to understand you on a soul level and will always be interested in learning more when they love you.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
INFJ: Open-mindedness
That's what really turns them on. INFJs want to be able to express their thoughts and feelings freely without being judged, but also have a partner who is willing to listen to them and consider different perspectives.
INFJs often feel misunderstood. Perhaps it's because they're quiet and reserved and tend to share their deepest thoughts and feelings only with select people. Or maybe it's because they are so rare—personality test research shows they make up less than 1% of the population.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.
INFJs are so concerned with maintaining harmony and improving the moods and emotions of others, that they can leave their own emotions and feelings untended. As a result, they can wind up feeling overloaded with other people's feelings and lost and alone when managing their own.
Falling in love doesn't happen fast for INFJs. They tend to be misunderstood as cold and unapproachable all their lives. This makes them afraid that they won't find someone who will truly understand the essence of their being and accept them the way they are.
An INFJ can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they're not prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs can make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized employees, and exceptional leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.
Unlike some other personality types, they aren't likely to choose short-term relationships. INFJs need to have deep connections with people to feel fulfilled. Those connections cannot be built overnight, so INFJs need someone willing to put in the hard work with them. They tend to be loyal, even to a fault.
The rarest personality type for women
Just 1% of women type as INTJ and ENTJ respectively. Among women, INFJ is only the third rarest personality type with approximately 2% of women categorized as INFJ. Both INTJ women and ENTJ women are extremely rare in the general population.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
As unusual as that might sound, INFJs love to delve into niche interests — and it isn't because they're trying to be cool. They simply like what they like, and their interests can be as surprising and quirky as they are. It's one of the many reasons why they often feel like odd ducks out.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
INFJs often love to spend time in nature, especially alone time. A walk in the park, sitting on a beach watching the waves, or hiking up in the mountains is a calming and invigorating experience for many INFJs.
They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
INFJs don't fall in love easily, but when they do, they go all out to make their relationships work. It's also why they can't forget about the people they once loved. Once an INFJ is in love with you, you better believe they'll cherish you for life. Being an INFJ best romantic match doesn't matter.