Some people with ADHD may simply feel more sensitive to negative statements, complaints, or even gentle suggestions from others than a person who did not grow up with ADHD.
Emotional sensitivity in ADHD may present as passionate thoughts, emotions, and feelings more intense than anyone else. Their highs are higher, and their lows are lower than the average person. People with ADHD experience stronger emotions, whether positive or negative.
Adults with ADHD consistently report challenges with emotional regulation, including significant difficulty in regulating and reframing emotional context. Whether in the present or projected into the future, their experience is that emotions are something that happens to them.
Symptoms of ADHD in adult men often include frequent emotional dysregulation, touchiness with criticism or conflict, and/or avoidance behaviors around conflict or emotions. Men with ADHD tend to respond quickly and intensely to things. These reactions can sometimes produce an impression of anger management problems.
ADHD and empathy doesn't have to be a relationship killer. As we've discussed, unfortunately, many people with ADHD tend to have a lack of empathy. This can be addressed, though, through identifying and communicating about each other's feelings.
When someone with ADHD falls in love for the first time, they can experience more intense emotions than those who do not have ADHD. These people “might feel a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance” when they first fall in love.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
Intense emotions and hyperfocus
Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do, and love is no exception. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the good — and bad — feelings that come with it can be even more intense and more disruptive. New relationships or crushes are exciting and (mostly) enjoyable.
If you are suffering from ADHD, you usually space out during lengthy conversations which would eventually make your partner feel like being ignored. More so, you repeatedly miss details or mindlessly agree to something that you would, later on, forget which would cause great frustration in your loved one's part.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored. ADHD impacts a person's ability to focus, or remember commitments.
There are some common sex issues that can happen to people that have ADHD. They include: Trouble paying attention during intimacy. Lack of focus is one of the most well-known symptoms of ADHD.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
Many people with ADHD experience a physical hypersensitivity to a variety of things, including touch. Being hypersensitive may mean that stimulation of their genitals might be uncomfortable or even painful in someone with ADHD. This sensitivity may also extend to other senses as well.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
In one study, researchers found that people with self-reported ADHD symptoms earned lower scores for affective empathy compared to other participants. However, they were still within the range of what's considered typical for empathy levels overall.
“Challenges with processing emotions start in the brain itself. Sometimes the working memory impairments of ADHD allow a momentary emotion to become too strong, flooding the brain with one intense emotion.” Thomas Brown, Ph. D., explains why (and how) ADHD sparks such intense anger, frustration, and hurt.
Men with ADHD may feel bombarded with constant critiques of their underperformance at home and at work. The struggle to become reliable in the face of distraction and planning problems causes many men to retreat from conflict. This may lead to cover-up behavior, like lying, and being emotionally distant.
From personal experience, I've learned that patience and understanding are key qualities to dating someone with ADHD. Your partner's diagnosis may be as difficult for them as it is for you. For years, they may have dealt with criticism or blame for behaviors associated with their condition.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
“Love bombing” is defined by someone showering their partner with excessive affection, attention, gifts, and flattery in order to gain their trust and dependence.
As daydreaming is often regarded as inattention, it's commonly associated with ADHD, but excessive daydreaming is also a sign of a condition called maladaptive daydreaming. This too is highly common for students with ADHD.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
People with ADHD may experience emotional outbursts, anger issues, or violent tendencies. “Emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, violence, anger, and aggression are connected to people [who have] ADHD,” Rosales says, adding that difficulty with focusing and managing moods can be frustrating.