Were you conjuring up feelings of happiness during your contemplation? Likely not. An overthinking mind tends to focus on the negative, sabotaging happy thoughts and keeping your mind in a constant state of negativity. When your happiness wanes, it affects your mental health and your productivity.
While overthinking itself is not a mental illness, it is associated with conditions including depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance use disorders. Rumination can be common in people who have chronic pain and chronic illness as well, taking the form of negative thoughts about that pain and healing from it.
Overthinking, negative thoughts and depression
Overthinking is a symptom of many different mental health issues – primarily generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). Many people who are depressed also experience symptoms of anxiety, and vice versa. This means lots of people with depression may overthink situations.
"Overthinking can affect how you experience and engage with the world around you — preventing you from making important decisions, keeping you from enjoying the present moment and draining you of the energy you need to handle daily stressors," explains Dr. Fowler.
Although there are positive traits of an overthinker, such as patience, commitment, dedication, drive, and passion, overthinking also promotes stress, anxiety, self-consciousness, and lack of self-confidence. It can be difficult to find any mental peace when you're thinking about every situation.
Is overthinking a mental illness? No, overthinking isn't a recognized mental health condition, but it can be a symptom of depression or anxiety. Overthinking is commonly associated with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), says Duke. GAD is characterized by the tendency to worry excessively about several things.
Research shows that overthinking is prevalent among young (25-35-year-olds) and middle-aged adults (45-55-year- olds). Overthinking tends to be worse among women. And too much thinking can lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, emotional distress, and self-destructive behaviours.
Overthinking strikes all of us at some point, but if it goes unchecked and unresolved, overthinking can certainly morph healthy relationships into toxic relationships. If you fall victim to your thoughts and allow them to go too far, they can end up driving a wedge of distrust between you and other people in your life.
Overthinking is caused due to various reasons like fear, intolerance to uncertainty, trauma, or perfectionism. Overthinking can also be a symptom of already existing mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or depression.
The good news is that you weren't born an overthinker. Overthinking is the result of one fact of human existence: we all have patterns to our behavior. These patterns, good and bad, develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.
People may learn the habit of catastrophising because they've had a bad experience before that they didn't see coming. To protect themselves in the future, they start imagining the worst possible scenarios in every situation, because they don't want to be caught off-guard again.
Research shows that overreacting, constantly worrying, and living in a state of perpetual anxiety can reduce life expectancy.
Reasons Why We Overthink
Overthinking from a need for perfectionism can cause the overthinking to be before, during, and after any situation we face. Low self-confidence is perhaps one of the most common causes of overthinking and has the ability to further diminish self-worth.
Overthinking may appear to be a simple problem, but it is far from it. Overthinkers may be difficult to date, but that doesn't make them bad people. However, a relationship with them is fraught with danger. While being an overthinker is difficult, loving one is even more difficult.
Overthinking usually falls into two categories: ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. If you're struggling with overthinking, you may feel “stuck” or unable to take any action at all. It can be hard to get the thoughts out of your mind or concentrate on anything else.
Don't Say Anything You Didn't Mean
“But I said it as a joke” is only going to make things worse. Overthinkers tend to find meaning in every word that spurts out of your mouth and would jump to conclusions. If you don't mean something, don't say it. As simple as that.
Don't tell them to stop overthinking.
Telling them to stop overthinking is just going to stress them out, so try to not get frustrated with them if they get lost in a train of thought. Be patient, give them space to work through their feelings when they need it, and enjoy your time with them.
Always be clear with your intent and communication
Keep the following in mind when dating an overthinker: Don't make them assume things. The overthinker in a relationship can catch on to your vibes. Spell out what's on your mind.
Anxiety and Relationship Problems: Overthinking
Negative, anxious thoughts in relationships cause worries about the relationship, what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and dread. These manifest as jealousy, anger, distrust, and paranoia. Challenges arise when people act on these thoughts.
Overthinkers appear more insecure than they really are. Because of your indecisive nature it may cause others to view you as unsure of yourself. This becomes apparent in working situations because you take too long to make decisions for clients or projects.
Overthinking in relationships can lead to a myriad of challenges. Essentially, you're living in the future or the past and aren't able to be emotionally available for your partner in the moment. You can find yourself experiencing significant emotional distress because of the anxiety that comes from overthinking.
A study reported in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease has confirmed that women overthink more than men do, due to their brains having more activity.
In addition, medications originally designed for depression, the SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, and others), are also capable of lowering the underlying level of anxiety which takes a lot of steam out of this phenomenon.