Repeatedly engaging in situationships may hamper your self-growth. It may also pedestalize the other person. Some research suggests that more established, committed relationships, such as marriage, are associated with greater benefits than less committed relationships.
A situationship is an uncommitted, undefined romantic relationship between two people—meaning that those in this type of relationship have not established what they are to each other. While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing.
How long is a situationship supposed to last? Situationships can last for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. Just like in other relationships, there's no expiration date unless one or both of you choose to end the situationship and move on.
A recurring theme throughout the content is how uniquely painful breaking up with your situationship can be, with many saying they felt more hurt by the end of their unofficial dating scenario than they did from finishing longer-term relationships.
The biggest advantage of a situationship is that there is less responsibility. Relationships can consume a significant amount of emotional energy. People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want the emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way.
Situationships aren't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, they can be great for people that aren't ready to commit to a full relationship, but are still looking for emotional and physical connections.
Many situationships do go the distance and turn into loving committed relationships. But it can also be an easy way out for someone who wants to keep their options open, who can't help thinking there might be someone better out there in dating app land.
“People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want the emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way,” Romanoff explains. “They may have emotional presence and connection in person, but when apart, they also have freedom outside of a committed relationship.”
"When both people are not in sync on the nature of the situationship, anger and resentment can arise over time," says Carla Manly, a psychologist practicing in California. "This can manifest in toxic behaviors, such as passive-aggressive actions, anger outbursts and toxic communication."
But the slow burn of a situationship coming to an end can be just as painful and it's important to acknowledge that, rather than minimising your feelings. It's really heartbreak over the loss of a fantasy – a wish, a longing, a projection that you had about them, a hope, rather than the person themselves.
How long do situationships last? It depends on the two people involved, but you know you're in a situationship when you have been in this setup for more than six months. While it is common to test the waters before committing, staying too long in a situationship does not look promising.
An curved arrow pointing right. Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.
You don't go on dates
But in a situationship, there aren't many dates planned — if any at all. To that end, you might also not take the person you are seeing to official events like weddings and company parties.
Don't try to force things or get too serious too quickly. Keep things light and fun, and enjoy the ride. Honesty is always the best policy, but it's especially important in a situationship. If you're not feeling it anymore, it's better to be honest and upfront about it than to string the other person along.
You might also refer to him as something more detached, like my "plus-one," "prospect" or literally, like, "This is my date." Some prefer the tongue-in-cheek "not-boyfriend." You can be coy ("fancy friend") or a bit crass ("makeout buddy") or cheesy ("this is my luvvah") or even snobbish/fake-French.
First and foremost, if two people are in a situationship, it is a fact that one will be more attached than the other. Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
For people who lack a secure attachment style, a situationship breakup can feel especially painful because it confirms a fear that is developed during early childhood: that someone they care about might unexpectedly one day abandon them, or cannot be depended on.
Why do people end up in situationships? Barnett says the reason why so many people find themselves in situationships is because of how difficult it is to find a healthy relationship. On their quest for love, people may find themselves feeling lonely in the meantime and looking for intimacy.
Whereas FWB involves two consenting adults making a decision around desire, and sexual needs and fulfillment, a situationship is taking advantage of one person's strong desire to have a relationship and leading them on while having sex with them.
Talk about your feelings
Turning your situationship into a relationship won't be possible if you don't speak up. You're stuck in this situation, and you want more. Then, it's time to tell this person that you're in love, and it's time to make it exclusive. It's being true to yourself and knowing what you deserve.
Some women are claiming it as an empowering relationship status. Some believe that what specifically makes a situationship empowering is the freedom and the choice. I.e. communicating with your potential partner that you're looking for a situationship and going forward with that clarity is what most agreed works.
It's been three months or more. Three months is more than enough time to know if you want to commit to someone else. You have an idea of who each other is at this point. If they still “don't know” what they want or what they're looking for, it's in your best interests to walk away.
For example, you can watch his body language. He's likely to turn his body towards you when in conversation and to make eye contact with you. He may pay attention to you more than others that are around. He's also likely to try spending time with you more than with others when he's falling in love.
Situationships can have a significant impact on one's mental health. The lack of clarity and commitment can cause anxiety, uncertainty, and insecurity, leading to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem.