There are plenty of challenges people with ADHD experience that can interfere with forming lasting friendships—from feeling overwhelmed or bored to experiencing anxiety and depression. Fortunately, you can improve your relationships by making time for your friends and being present when you're with them.
Do people with ADHD struggle with friendships? Why? Yes, they might have some struggles when it comes to starting and maintaining friendships. This is because many ADHD symptoms can affect our social interactions.
“[People with ADHD] often struggle socially because they may miss subtle social cues; lose focus mid-conversation and realize they've not heard most of what the other person has said to them; or they may impulsively make statements which come across as inappropriate or rude without meaning to,” writes Natalia van ...
Individuals with ADHD often experience social difficulties, social rejection, and interpersonal relationship problems as a result of their inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Such negative interpersonal outcomes cause emotional pain and suffering.
Girls with ADHD can have a hard time making friends. They might have a lot of energy and not be good at taking turns. They may be too loud or aggressive. And girls with the “inattentive” type of ADHD may miss social cues, like how to react to other people or join a group.
Many women affected by ADHD feel the cultural expectation that women have many and deeply personal friendships. They view friendship as something that comes easily to other women, not them, and many internalize a message of somehow not being good enough or capable enough to have friendships.
If that felt like a personal call-out, you're not alone. It's a common ADHD experience that I call 'involuntary ghosting' - a phenomenon that describes the disappearing act that happens when ADHDers forget to respond to texts.
An ADHD brain ? processes thoughts differently.
So, when we're in the middle of a conflict, it can be hard to keep calm and think straight. We can feel extreme guilt, anger, sadness, or anxiety, and it can be hard to manage everything we're feeling.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
Examples of common ADHD texting challenges:
Misunderstandings from non-verbal cues. Lack of facial expressions causes misinterpretations. Forgetting to check or reply to messages. Perfectionism; overthinking your texts, sometimes erasing them completely.
Individuals with adult ADHD may appear as one of two extremes: withdrawn and antisocial, preferring to spend their time alone; or overly social and unable to easily endure even brief periods of solitude. Neither of these extremes allows much room for flexibility in daily living.
The ADHD brain also gets easily consumed. This means ADHD and overthinking kind of go hand in hand. The ADHD brain grasps hold of your thoughts and runs away with them, while emotions keep the engine running.
Assortative mating, attraction to partners who exhibit similar behaviors, is more common among adults with ADHD, according to a new study that found adults with ADHD are more likely to have partners with clinically significant symptoms of ADHD, which increases the likelihood of relationship problems.
People who are uncomfortable with others or prefer to be alone may have a hard time maintaining friendships. Personality issues such as being pushy, too talkative, or controlling can be off-putting to others. Talking to an objective third party such as a therapist can help reveal issues that interfere with friendships.
People with ADHD, however, often have abnormally short time horizons — a phenomenon Barkley calls “future myopia.” It's difficult for them to plan for the future because they don't see the future as clearly as do their peers.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Your partner with ADHD may have experience trouble completing tasks because of a lack in interest or focus. You might notice in your early stages of dating or relationships that there are times that your partner is disorganized, unfocused, and cannot pay attention to details.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
ADHD makes us more sensitive to criticism. Often, our first instinct is to respond defensively or angrily to outside comments that feel like disapproval. But adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) should know that doing so could sacrifice learning opportunities and the respect of others.
Understanding conflict aversion and ADHD
It is a common trait for individuals with ADHD, who may struggle with emotional regulation and impulsivity. When faced with conflict, individuals with ADHD may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or uncertain, leading them to avoid or withdraw from the situation.
When children with ADHD enter a social setting, they may have a hard time sharing, taking turns, listening, and picking up on social cues. They often become bored, distracted, or check-out of the conversation. Students with ADHD may have a hard time managing their emotions when interacting with their peers.
Many people with ADHD tend to talk faster than others, too, which can lead to them inadvertently cutting off others while speaking.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored.
One of the things you shouldn't say to someone with ADHD is that it's in their head, they're lazy, or if they learn to focus that they can get their work done. By saying these things, you're dismissing their condition and the challenges they deal with daily.