If you're familiar with autism, I'm sure you've heard of the term “special interests.” Everyone has something they have a passion for, or a hobby. Autistic people are no different. For us, that passion is often simply intensified.
For Autistic children – and adults – their passion is a key part of their enjoyment of life. Taking away their interest actually may mean taking from them the one pleasurable they have in a hostile and unpredictable world.
An autistic person will feel emotions and will want to communicate emotions to those around them. However, it is not uncommon to encounter difficulties in expressing oneself. Indeed, people with autism spectrum disorder will encounter certain obstacles in recognizing various facial expressions.
Some believe that autistic people aren't interested in romantic relationships or aren't capable of romantic love. However, this is far from the truth. In fact, autistic people can make wonderful partners.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
While love is expressed and experienced differently from person to person, those with autism are fully capable of forming deep emotional connections. These can include love for their family, friends, romantic partners, or even interests and hobbies.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
By nature, humans crave social support and strong relationships. Autistic people are no exception, and they're capable of connecting with others at an empathic level. Their emotions can run deep, even if they have different ways of expressing themselves.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
People on the spectrum may have trouble recognizing their own emotions, or they may feel emotions more intensely. “There might be some biological differences in the arousal systems in the brain,” Beck says.
People with autism spectrum disorder are sometimes said to lack empathy (the ability to feel along with others) and/or sympathy (the ability to feel for others). While this stereotype is often used to describe all people with autism, these challenges are not experienced by everyone on the spectrum.
Every person with autism manages their sensory input in a different way and their emotional regulation skills can vary. It's difficult to make any blanket statements on the signs of dysregulation, but generally, any kind of change in behavior can indicate that a person is having a hard time managing their emotions.
Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers. For many younger children it's Thomas the Tank Engine, dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters.
It would be wrong to suggest that all individuals with autism have an aversion to touch – some may enjoy it outright, and others may enjoy it in certain contexts or forms, such as a preference for deep pressure versus light brushing.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Some people with autism may have the ability to sense emotional needs in someone else, even if they are not outwardly visible. In such cases, they may show love by doing something, rather than saying something, in unique ways.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged.
Individuals with developmental disabilities, such as autism spectrum disorder, typically exhibit conversation skill deficits, with two prevailing deficits including giving and accepting compliments.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly.
Rely on others to help you through this difficult time.
They will be able to tell you that this happens all the time. Talk to your family and friends. If enough time has passed and you are feeling down, consider seeking a therapist to help you, too.
Persons on the autism spectrum often have trouble staying on topic and maintaining a conversation. Social skills are also affected. Eye contact may be difficult and sometimes facial expressions may not reflect an individual's true feelings. Social cues are often missed or misread.