These traits can include anything from jealousy to anger issues to anxiety — anything that seems to be getting in the way of a satisfying relationship. Again, this doesn't just apply to the autistic person in the relationship. Both people should be willing to admit when their own traits and habits are a problem.
Sensitivity to physical contact may also cause anxiety for those who have autism. The inability to read the thoughts, feelings or expressed sensations of one's partner can lead to miscommunication, painful experiences whether they are physical or emotional, and/or shame and guilt.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication. This can mean that those who are neurotypical may find it difficult to interpret the signs of affection.
For instance, autistic people tend to be particularly honest, reliable, and loyal — some of the most important traits for a long-term relationship. You may just need to be more direct when communicating than you are used to and be prepared to give your partner space when they feel overstimulated.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense. This non-literal behavior can be very challenging for neurodiverse adults to understand.
Autistic people often experience insecure attachments. Autistic people are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style: One study found a higher rate of avoidant attachment styles among Autistic individuals. No association was found between anxious attachment and autistic traits) (McKenzie and Dallos).
Many of us on the spectrum also have heightened challenges with sensitivity and transition, and breakups can have a negative effect on us both physically and mentally.
Key points. Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil. Touch aversion in autism can feel uncomfortable for friends and family who are unfamiliar with this common response.
Sometimes, people with autism have a harder time regulating their emotions. They may rely on unique self-soothing strategies to deal with intense emotions, and either seek out or avoid sensory stimuli like bright lights, loud sounds and intense smells.
These studies suggest that many individuals with ASD seek sexual and romantic relationships similar to the non-ASD population12,13 and have the entire spectrum of sexual experiences and behaviors.
Unique shows of affection
People with autism may show their love by: sharing their special interest. allowing someone into their space. using alternative forms of communication.
Probably one of the most devastating myths for families is the misconception that children with autism cannot give and receive affection and love. We know that sensory stimulation is processed differently by some children with autism, causing them to have difficulty expressing affection in conventional ways.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged. Some children can swing the opposite way and want so many hugs that they feel hug deprived when they aren't getting enough.
There is a persistent stereotype that people with autism are individuals who lack empathy and cannot understand emotion. It's true that many people with autism don't show emotion in ways that people without the condition would recognize.
Autistic people are more than capable of forming long-term relationships and getting married, no less than people with no behavioral disabilities. However, this question has become popular, as more of the population has been diagnosed with autism than in previous years.
The most common signs of autism include difficulty with social interaction, difficulty with verbal and nonverbal communication, difficulty with eye contact, repetitive behaviors, and difficulty with change. If your boyfriend exhibits any of these signs, it is important to seek professional help.
While some people with autism merely yell or stamp, many really do become overwhelmed by their own emotions. 3 Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, crying, and screaming are all possibilities. These can be particularly frightening—and even dangerous—when the autistic individual is physically large.