As a psychotherapist, I have found taking things personally to be a common struggle that many experience. And highly sensitive people (HSPs) have an active inner world and a heightened nervous system, which makes them more prone to these experiences than others may be.
You can combat a tendency to take things too personally by working to give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that they might not mean things the way they sound or that you might have misunderstood. Positive self-talk and focusing on your strengths can also help you feel less sensitive to such comments.
If you tend to take things personally when they are not personal, it's because you feel insecure and are projecting your insecurities on other people. You think that people will dislike something you don't like about yourself. You expect others to doubt your abilities to do things that intimidate you.
Highly sensitive people tend to pick up on the needs and feelings of others. They hate letting people down. Learning to say no is a challenge and a necessity for HSPs because they can feel crushed by the demands of others, particularly because they can feel their friends' disappointment if HSPs need to say no.
Two of the traits that align with high sensitivity – Intuitive and Feeling – are indicative of the Diplomat Role. Of the four Diplomat personality types, Introverted Advocates (INFJs) and Mediators (INFPs) may be among the most likely to have HSP qualities.
Being highly sensitive to the world does not necessarily indicate narcissism, but those who perceive themselves as especially fragile due to their personality paired with an attitude that discomfort must be avoided at all times can be prone to show aspects of hypersensitive narcissism and a sense of entitlement to ...
HSP struggle to witness arguments, hear raised voices or see any form of physical violence because they are highly attuned to the emotions and energy of other people. They also tend to avoid conflict because they don't like the thought of upsetting others, or other people being upset with them.
They're more empathic: Sensitive in general, HSPs are particularly perceptive to emotions. They feel emotions more acutely, both for themselves and on the behalf of others, and notice more emotional subtleties. Not surprisingly, they are more attentive and show more concern for others.
Sights, sounds, smells, and other forms of sensory input may cause a heightened experience for HSPs. A sound that is barely perceptible to most people may be very noticeable, and possibly even painful, to an HSP. There's more to being a highly sensitive person than just being sensitive to stimuli.
HSPs have stronger emotional responses, both positively and negatively. This means they feel higher levels of joy and happiness, but easily upset at times of sadness. They may also get angry when they are hungry or feel hurt when criticized.
And it's important to know that being a highly sensitive person isn't considered a mental health disorder — and that there's no official way to diagnose someone as HSP and there's no official highly sensitive person test (though there's this quiz from the doctor who coined the term “highly sensitive person.”)
Your inherent empathy, combined with your tendency to have strong emotions, makes you prone to feeling overwhelmed sooner. You also feel more intensely than people without the trait of High Sensitivity, which can also lead to feeling burned out.
HSPs thrive in relationships where they feel seen, heard, and valued. When a partner validates an HSP's words and feelings — and without judgment or condescension — it's very gratifying.
Even positive change may result in high levels of excitement and anxiety simultaneously due to the overstimulation caused by new experiences. HSPs can find handling conflict and criticism challenging, as they tend to have very high expectations of themselves and are hard on themselves when falling short.
The three subtypes of highly sensitive people include Aesthetic Sensitivity (AES), Low Sensory Threshold (LST), and Ease of Excitation (EOE). Before we explain what each of these means, it's important to note that HSPs can fit into more than one subtype, each subtype has its own characteristics.
Both High Sensitivity and Autism exist on a spectrum and every child has a unique way of experiencing the world based on their inherited traits and also their lived experiences.
Those of us highest on the sensitivity scale have the same challenges around sensory sensitivities and sensory overload as someone on the spectrum of autism. However, if you look at the current diagnostic criteria found in the DSM, there seem to be broad differences in other areas.
Sensitive people have a higher likelihood of having low self-esteem. As a highly sensitive person, you may have learned to hide the depth of your emotions or your propensity to become overwhelmed. You may be trying to be “normal” or fit in with “risk-takers,” a temperament trait highly prized in our society.
HSPs have more active mirror neurons, which explains their gigantic capacity for empathy. Mirror neurons are brain cells that help us understand what someone else is feeling. They're involved in recognizing sadness and relating to it. Because of such active mirror neurons, HSPs absorb emotions from people around them.
Many good qualities come with being a highly sensitive person. And as it turns out, those who identify as highly sensitive are not rare at all – they make up about 15-20 percent of the population!
The brains of sensitive people can grow and change in ways that may allow for more creative associations. Sensory intelligence. Sensory intelligence means taking in more information from your environment and making good decisions based on that information—a defining characteristic of highly sensitive people.
Most highly sensitive people display rare strengths in key areas of emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ) — the ability to recognize and understand emotions in themselves and others. These strengths including self-awareness and social-awareness.
Bjelland noted a belief that all empaths are HSPs, but not all HSPs are empaths. Dr. Orloff said that an empath indeed carries all of the attributes of an HSP but with more developed intuition and a sponge-like ability for absorbing emotions.