Your emotions are an inconvenience for narcissists. You can expect the narcissist to feel anger because you put them in such a situation where they have to face their emotions (or lack thereof). Your tears also put the spotlight on you, which is unacceptable for a narcissist.
Narcissistic individuals particularly detest crying, because for them, crying signifies that one is supposed to feel bad or nurture the individual who is upset. Therefore, they feel that when someone is crying, it is a reminder that they cannot feel empathy; which is upsetting to them.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people.
Narcissists are not envious of others for having emotions. They disdain feelings and sentimental people because they find them to be weak and vulnerable and they deride human frailties and vulnerabilities.
Lack of Empathy
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissists lack empathy. They're “unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.” (APA, 2013) Research shows that they have structural abnormalities in brain regions associated with emotional empathy.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
This is one of the most triggering reactions. Narcissists, especially those who like to put people down by making fun of them, will laugh at the sight of your tears. They don't how else to respond to emotions.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Dealing with a person with narcissism can be difficult because they often don't want to see you happy. It can lead to arguments, aggressive outbursts, and shaming.
Narcissists love when you get angry. It fuels them. There is nothing like manufacturing a raging hot drama fest, where the narcissist gets to project all of their internal rage onto another. The ability to make you explode puffs up the narc's sick sense of grandiosity.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Narcissistic rage is often the “go-to” response for narcissists who feel threatened or attacked by others in some way. All this may include sudden, intense outbursts of anger that can involve verbal threats, aggression, and violence.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
The narcissist will start discounting doctors, minimizing the effects of the illness, and parading others around with similar illnesses in an effort to shame their spouse into believing that the sickness is only a mental manifestation of the spouses weakness. This is like pouring salt onto an open wound.
Narcissists want to have their own way. They tend to be rule-oriented and controlling. They are inflexible. It benefits narcissists to have partners who are willing to go with the flow and not make a big deal over anything, ever.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend not to perceive that they themselves may have a mental health problem, and thus may be less likely to seek evaluation or treatment.