Narcissistic parents gaslight their kids to diminish their children's confidence and control what they think and feel. Adultify Them. It is common for narcissistic parents to push their children into adult roles to meet their own needs.
If you are dealing with a narcissist in your life or grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may have experienced “gaslighting.” It is a form of verbal and psychological abuse that is insidiously cruel, with the intention of making a person doubt their own sanity.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Narcissistic parenting adversely affects the psychological development of children, affecting their reasoning and their emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes. Personal boundaries are often disregarded with the goal of molding and manipulating the child to satisfy the parent's expectations.
Narcissistic parental brainwashing occurs when a parent with narcissistic tendencies psychologically manipulates the child into thinking false narratives about the other parent. This could entail painting the other parent as dangerous, unloving, unintelligent, or somehow not good for the child.
Narcissistic parents love to compare their children to other siblings or peers in an effort to further diminish them. They want their scapegoated children to fight for their approval and attention. They also want to provoke them into feeling less than.
Narcissists 'can never really love anyone'
"They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone." This doesn't change when they have children.
The children of a narcissist are often children who grow up to be codependent, people-pleasers, and have low self-esteem. They may never feel good enough for their parents or themselves.
The child is often shamed and humiliated by a narcissistic parent and will grow up with poor self-esteem. The child often will become either a high achiever or a self-saboteur, or both. The child will need trauma recovery and will have to re-parent themselves in adulthood.
They refuse to recognize that their child is separate from them, with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. A narcissistic parent tends to focus on or almost “feed” on their child's accomplishments. They often do this, because something is lacking within them.
They Are Manipulative & Exploitative
Narcissistic parents often manipulate their kids to fulfill selfish desires or aspirations. Their love is conditional, and they frequently use narcissistic manipulation tactics, such as blaming, guilt-tripping, or setting unreasonable expectations, to control their children.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.
Many narcissistic mothers idealize their young son. They build his confidence and sense of importance. As he matures and challenges her control, she disparages his emerging individuality and tries to correct and change him. To boost her ego, she may brag about her son to her friends, but is critical at home.
A narcissistic mother is unable to give their child the full attention and validation they need to feel loved and emotionally secure. This may impact the child's beliefs, behaviors, and self-esteem well into adulthood.
If you're being gaslighted, you might start to doubt yourself and your perceptions. You might feel like you're going crazy. They may also tell you that you're imagining things or remembering things wrong. Gaslighting can also involve making someone doubt their own judgment.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
A narcissist will put on a good show for court and shout how they have 'the best interests of the child' in mind, but when you look closely, the evidence will say otherwise. Narcissists are incapable of putting anyone's needs before their own, and can often put the child at risk of harm.
You see, not only will a narcissist subject their children to all the usual abusive behaviours that they subject everyone else to, but at the same time, they view their children as extensions of themselves; as not being separate from them.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
The condition is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, including exposure to parental narcissism. Narcissistic individuals are often vain, have low self-esteem, and feel entitled. They may be unsympathetic and have little empathy for others' feelings.
Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
For example, a narcissist might offer an insincere apology to get something in return. They might apologize to make themselves out in a victim position or to repair the damage that's been done to their image. There are narcissists who don't apologize for their actions.
A good parent is available, responsive, and consistent with their child. A good parent helps their child develop a realistic sense of self by mirroring their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs. Narcissists can't be a good parent because they are incapable of having emotional closeness that good parenting requires.
Yes, they do — here's why.
Well, it's simple: they lie. Lie's are an easy way to get the instant gratification a narcissist needs to get them through this one moment. Lies are how a narcissist can keep power and control over you; they are the foundation for a narcissist's world.