Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The narcissist feels a compelling need to control people in his (or her) environment; his spouse, work mates, friends and neighbors. It's because in his mind he doesn't feel in control. It is abuse, which is often long-term.
Yes, narcissists are very controlling. In fact, the clinical definition of narcissism lists controlling as one of the ways narcissists gain control over others. Narcissists are driven by self-obsession. They care only about their own needs, image, desires, goals, and experiences.
As a general rule, the reason that narcissists are so controlling is because being in control helps them get narcissistic supply, feel emotionally stable, and prevent themselves from experiencing narcissistic injuries.
Establish and Enforce Boundaries
Narcissists often target people who lack strong tenacity as they feel empowered by testing and overstepping on other people's boundaries. Establishing clear and firm boundaries can protect you from the narcissist's manipulation and emotional abuse.
They'll often go on a smear campaign.
Narcissists are happy to spread rumors and lies—even if they know the stories aren't true. When they realize they can't control you anymore, they'll may decide to punish you by ruining your reputation or turning people against you.
Narcissists can be incredibly skilled at using classic elements of thought-control and brainwashing. To get free of narcissistic thought control it is essential to spot the distortions narcissists deliberately and instinctively practice. Applying critical thinking skills can inoculate you against their campaigns.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
The condition is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, including exposure to parental narcissism. Narcissistic individuals are often vain, have low self-esteem, and feel entitled. They may be unsympathetic and have little empathy for others' feelings.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Many narcissists believe they have special insight into others and feel justified in naming others' reality. They may say things such as, "I know you better than you know yourself." By labeling others' thoughts, feelings, and motivations, narcissists seek to gain an upper hand by making others doubt themselves.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy.
Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.