If there is one thing you don't want in life, it's to become a member of the narcissists recycling camp. Each time he/she comes and goes, they take another piece of you until there is nothing left, and you suffer a total emotional meltdown. To avoid this, once the relationship ends, seek professional help.
All too often, a narcissist will view love as simply convenience. Therefore, returning to an ex-partner is second nature to a recycling narcissist, and it doesn't really matter which one of those ex-lovers it is.
They'll try to manipulate you emotionally.
A narcissistic ex won't hesitate to use emotional manipulation to keep you in their life. They might try love-bombing, where they'll shower you with affection and compliments to get you to come back to them.
Narcissists get over their exes very quickly. In a survey we conducted among 300 people who experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship, we discovered that the average amount of time it took for a narcissist to get over their ex was three-and-a-half weeks.
Simply put, a narcissist will become obsessed with an ex when he or she refuses to remain “friends.” The narcissist may be very open about this obsession, dragging as many people as possible into it.
A narcissist will commonly try to incite guilt and shame. They may spin the narrative to blame their partner for why the relationship failed. This maintains their grandiose perception of themselves and gives them the leverage to try and convince others to empathize with them.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
They're not going to contact you immediately following a disengagement or breakup. A narcissist will wait months or even years until you've almost forgotten them and can think of them without fear. If the narcissist in your life is an ex, they may wait until the relationship you had after them has ended to strike.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
Narcissists love attention, whether it's good or bad.
Ignore their texts, don't answer their phone calls, and don't talk to them when you see them in person. You'll notice the narcissist in your life getting more and more angry as you keep ignoring them.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Narcissists often view their partners as possessions rather than individuals with their desires and needs. When they see their ex with someone else, they may feel jealous that someone else is getting what they believe is rightfully theirs.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final. Other times, a narcissist will use hoovering to lure the person back into the relationship and repeat the cycle.
The narcissist often keeps his exes close by as a backup in case their current relationship doesn't work out. They also want their ex around to continually feed their ego with the attention and admiration they so crave.
If your ex had a narcissistic personality, chances are they moved on to the next relationship pretty soon after your breakup.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.”
A person with NPD may display personality changes without warning and even go to lengths such as emotional blackmail to pursue their self-serving interests. Inflated Sense of Importance: Narcissists often work under a grandiose feeling of self-importance.
They Will Experience a Narcissistic Injury and Go Into a Narcissistic Rage. If a narcissist were to realize that they no longer have control over you, it could cause them to experience a narcissistic injury and fly into a narcissistic rage.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
They think of coming back
Will a narcissist come back after dumping you? Yes, it is possible. The narcissist will likely come back for you immediately after initiating the no contact rule. This ensures that their source of attention and satisfaction (the narcissistic supply) does not get cut off for long.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
If a person realizes how toxic their relationship is and lets go, a narcissist will start playing games to instill confusion, doubt, and even guilt to their partners. It's their way to get back at their partner and if it would work, even turn things around in their favor.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.