Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
Tend to sabotage their own happiness and wellbeing due to feelings of being undeserving. Unstable self-image (lack identity) Believes no one cares about them, and so they don't care about themselves. Unstable emotions.
Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone. The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing.
An inherent aspect of those with BPD is the drive to self-destruct, which acts as a chain to block them from success. They may act on the false belief that self-destruction will give them what they want.
Tips to Stop Sabotaging Behaviors with BPD
These are a few of the strategies that I use to minimize and prevent my sabotaging behaviors: I practice forgiveness toward others and myself. When I can treat myself and other people with more kindness, I don't feel like I need to punish myself or cut off relationships.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative. Clinical usage of the term varies widely but clearly carries a pejorative meaning.
While not one of the nine criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD), selfishness can be a symptom of the disease. Selfishness interferes with healthy relationships, worsens risky behavior and worsens addiction--all symptoms of BPD.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Some people with BPD harm themselves. For most people with BPD, symptoms begin during their teenage years or as a young adult, then improve during adult life. BPD is a condition of the brain and mind. If someone has BPD, it is not their fault and they did not cause it.
What are the conditions that may drive a person in their manipulative behavior? In BPD, these conditions are a lack of affective self-understanding, difficulties with regulating one's own emotions, and an impeded interaffectivity that makes it incredibly difficult for the person to feel connected with other people.
“People with BPD are self-centered.”
More often than not, the opposite is true. A lot of the pain and anxiety someone with BPD feels stems from insecurities they have about how they affect the people around them.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Persistently unable to form a stable self-image or sense of self. Drastically impulsive in at least two possibly self-damaging areas (substance abuse, reckless driving, disordered eating, sex). Self-harming or suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats. Instability often brought on by reactivity of mood (ex.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
People with BPD often harbor an intense fear of being abandoned by the ones they love, suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, engage in suicidal behavior or threats, and have difficulty controlling anger.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
The Victim
Individuals with BPD often feel helpless, hopeless, powerless, and ashamed. When in this state of mind, they may adopt a passive role and draw in others to make decisions for them and support them.
Those with borderline personality disorder tend to exhibit control over their environment by creating and exacerbating disruptive circumstances; thereby influencing others to behave in a certain manner to decrease the affected individual's reactions.
The discouraged borderline exhibits clingy and codependent behavior, tending to follow along in a group setting although seeming dejected. They are usually brimming with disappointment and anger under the surface directed at those around them.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation.