People with secure attachment styles are not likely to feel overly jealous or insecure in their relationships.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
On all three jealousy measures, those with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style were more jealous than those with an avoidant style, with those with a secure attachment style being the least jealous.
Which attachment style is least related to jealousy? Those with a dismissing style of attachment. "Feeling self-sufficient and trying not to depend on others is apparently one way to stay relatively immune to jealousy."
To begin with, jealousy in relationships depends on our beliefs and expectations about ourselves and our partners, and these have been linked to attachment styles in existing research [1].
Jealousy is often rooted in insecurities and fears that a person may not even realize they have. These could include fear of oversimplification, fear of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, and fear of being judged.
Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others.
Most attachment specialists believe that the disorganized attachment style is the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat because it incorporates both the anxious and the avoidant styles.
Anxious and avoidant relationships are considered unhealthy or insecure attachments. They can often lead to relationships that cause you great anxiety, distress, or emotional pain. Alternatively, you can also form attachments to objects. These attachment objects can play a role in how safe you feel.
"Disorganized attachment style is said to be the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat or change," Feuerman says. But it's important to know that your attachment style can shift over time — you can develop a secure attachment style by changing the way you act and think.
As I pointed out earlier, previous studies on dating couples had showed that the anxiously attached were least likely to be unfaithful and the avoidantly attached the most.
Both avoidant and anxious attachment are both insecure types of attachment. Just over 50% of people are securely attached to their partner. The securely attached are the least likely to be unfaithful as they do not worry about their partner straying or the strength of the relationship.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Individuals with an anxious attachment style are characterized with: Being clingy. Having an intensely persistent and hypervigilant alertness towards their partner's actions or inactions.
Individuals high in anxious attachment are more likely to engage in emotional manipulation and other harmful behaviors intended to prevent a partner from leaving the relationship, which in turn is linked to reduced relationship satisfaction, according to new research published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences.
“Studies from around the world have reported that men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity,” Nicholson explains. “And women are the opposite — they're more jealous of emotional cheating than sexual cheating.”
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs.
Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment. It describes an attachment where a child feels comforted by the presence of their caregiver. Securely attached children feel protected and that they have someone to rely on.
It is possible that other studies will show that single people, on the average, are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style or an anxious style — or that coupled people are! What is highly unlikely to happen is for some study to find that most single people have attachment issues.
Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.
Abnormal jealousy: Also called pathological jealousy or extreme jealousy, this may be a sign of an underlying mental health issue, such as schizophrenia, anxiety, or issues with control.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Feeling jealous is a signal that someone else might be putting a relationship you have and rely on at risk — and you may need to do something about it to either save that relationship or find what you're getting out of that relationship somewhere else. “Jealousy is hard-wired in all of us,” Jalal says.