One of the main reasons is that you simply can't make sense of what has happened and your brain can't accept that. It needs an answer, an explanation. But you will never get one from the narcissist so you attempt to come up with your own. This however creates something called cognitive dissonance.
The narcissist's memories have been so ingrained in you that you find it almost impossible to function independently without this person. It's natural to reel back to their memories or emerge yourself in their thoughts.
Fear of being alone – Narcissists are skilled at destroying their partner's social circles and relationships with family members. The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life.
Narcissists have little to no remorse or empathy.
They don't feel to the extent that we feel. The fact that we feel so deeply for these twisted individuals is evidence that we can one day feel that way for someone actually worthy of our love and attention.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
You are totally trauma bonded to them. This means that you refuse to see the obvious: This person never loved you, cannot love anyone, and they are too narcissistic to care how you feel or how much damage they do to your life.
People can fall in love with narcissists just the same way they fall in love with anyone else. They meet, they are attracted to them, the person has qualities that they like, and they feel connected to the person.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
They can have deep regret for failed relationships and they may feel loss very deeply. But they feel that regret and loss only insofar as they relate to their own agenda and feelings . Their remorse points inward. They may feel very sad that they lost someone and they may genuinely miss that person.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.
There are many reasons; one, is that they are bigger than life. Narcissists are not your typical persons, and relationships with them are anything but normal. It is very difficult to break free from a relationship with a narcissist. In order to do so you must realize some truths about the reality of your situation.
Leaving a narcissist can often be one of the hardest parts of the whole relationship. This is because they have emotionally, financially, and psychologically drained you. Experts weigh in on how to safely leave a relationship with a toxic person.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.