You can stop thinking about someone by refocusing on yourself, keeping your distance, and exploring why you can't take them out of your head. Whether you've just come out of a relationship or experiencing unrequited love, learning how to stop thinking about someone can feel impossible — but it isn't.
Women who fall for unavailable men have some profound insecurities and self-esteem issues, and they invest so much in pursuing unavailable men with the following unconscious motive: If the unavailable man finally comes around and commits, they'll—at long last—have proof that they are worthy.
The only way that you can move on, process your feelings, and get your sanity back is by being real about who he is, who he's been, and who he will never be. This is a guy that no matter who he is with, will not be capable of emotional availability.
One of the possible reasons why a man can turn emotionally unavailable is because of past hurts. When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again.
According to Helen Fisher and her colleagues, the reason romantic rejection gets us hooked is that this sort of rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings.
Fear of commitment and fear of getting too close are two common signs of emotional unavailability in men and women. Emotionally unavailable partners might prefer having casual relationships with multiple people or may end relationships if things are getting “too serious.”
We are attracted to the unknown or unpredictability of the other person. We want to fulfill a fantasy. We want to prove to ourselves and others we deserve to have them. We unconsciously placed superhuman characteristics on our object of desire.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Some people, subconsciously, pursue unavailable people for an ego boost and external validation. Rather than trying to convince unavailable people to become available for you, look for healthier sources of validation and self-worth that don't rely on anyone else's approval or interest in you.
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.
You might find that this person that you barely know is extremely funny, charming, strong, humble, and captivating. You might be thinking about them so much because they seem so rare. They might have a unique combination of traits that you admire and desire.
Try to stop talking to them if possible. Focus on other things in life that make you happy. It will help take your mind off of your crush and encourage a productive way to get over them. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings to get another perspective.
Many people ask questions like can emotionally unavailable men fall in love? The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person.
An emotionally unavailable person is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings. If your partner becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable, this is an indicator that they're not good at handling emotions—both their own as well as yours.
An emotionally unavailable person often develops arrogance from a lack of self-esteem. In order to feel the power and control they are lacking, they may feel the need to show others that they are “better” than them.
The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.
Physical touch is a huge indicator of love and attraction!
He might not be touchy-feely; emotionally unavailable men aren't big fans of PDA, and that probably won't change right away when he falls in love. Still, he'll initiate physical closeness to show you that he has feelings for you.
Emotionally unavailable men will flirt with you on a regular basis. Some of them will do this just so they can, once again, prevent their vulnerability from happening. Others will do it simply because they prefer the chase rather than the catch.
But when you're with someone emotionally unavailable, you won't feel any of the warm fuzzy feelings around your heart. You may have some good feelings, but there's a feeling of stagnation where the good isn't growing and the love is deepening. If you notice a lack of spark and joy, don't ignore that feeling; listen in.
A strong connection to someone you barely know is usually characterized by your ability to read their non-verbal cues, even more than usual. You can tell when they are happy, sad, irritated, or satisfied with something. Considering this mental state, it is even easier to get along with them.
An emotional connection is a feeling of alignment and intimacy between two people that goes beyond just physical attraction, having fun together, surface-level conversations, or even intellectual similarities. Instead, it feels like you're connecting on a deeper soul level—and feel secure connecting that deeply.