They tend to be gracious and friendly to people, and if they are confident, they may even have a gift for flirting and making eye contact. However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes.
INFJs that like you will allow you to touch their shoulder, put their hand on yours, or give you a little nudge when something is funny. They will probably hug you a little tighter or longer than others. INFJs will sit closer to you, touch your face or hold your hand if they are interested in you.
INFJs don't let go the way other people do. Other people can have unrequited crushes and move on as if they never happened. But if an INFJ has invested real emotions in someone who didn't return their love, that person becomes like a permanent scar.
INFJs are known to be great at a lot of things. Flirting isn't one of them. Many INFJs feel uncomfortable or awkward flirting, at least the traditional way. We would rather have a deep conversation with someone than tell silly jokes or give them random compliments.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
These introverts are hopeless romantics who tend to fall in love easily, but they also struggle to make the first move, flirt and show love once they're in a relationship. Because of their unique and rare personality type, INFJs tend to struggle in relationships, but that doesn't have to be the case.
Other INFJs may get shy around their crush. The emotions they feel for them may overwhelm their ability to speak. Or they may want so badly to please this person that they avoid doing or saying anything they think might be misinterpreted.
They Encourage You and Notice Your Positive Strengths
It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique. INFJs might do this in a one-on-one conversation, in writing, or even just through the “vibe” they give off.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
Most of the time, we don't: regardless of how we feel about someone, we will analyze the situation to see if there is a dealbreaker present. Merely feeling good, excited, and superficially attracted to someone isn't enough to justify any action other than research. INTJ's dont chase anyone.
People are high-fiving, cheering, and otherwise overdoing it emotionally. As an INFJ you tend to feel out-of-your-element in these situations. You might attempt to cheer only to be taken aback by the awkward tension and self-consciousness in your voice.
They often put everything they have into the person they fall for and truly want to give their hearts openly. INFJs really do invest a lot into the people they love, and when they fall in love with someone, they don't hold back.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
They are also quiet but fierce hardworking perfectionists who dream big and achieve their goals. Because they are often reserved, high-achieving individuals with high expectations of both themselves and others, INFJs can be intimidating to other personality types.
They pinpoint them and understand them best in isolation and reflection. It's still good for them to express their feelings, but they usually do that for validation and acceptance. They already know what their feelings are.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
Relationships can be overwhelming for the sensitive INFJ. After all, we tune into other people's emotions and sometimes struggle to sort our complex feelings out. Yet, as intense as INFJ relationships can be, these personalities usually seek long-term commitment from a partner, not a casual fling.
They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term. The heartbreak doesn't have to define the rest of your life and your other relationships (I'm currently working on convincing myself of this).
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
To impress an INFJ, show them you have a sense of depth about life. Talk about your passions, be open-minded, and demonstrate that you want to live a life with integrity. Show them you love to learn and that you have a big, beautiful, rich inner world they can explore.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.