Insecure people often use criticism of others as a way to feel better about themselves. See, people who are insecure consistently feel bad about themselves. And often, they don't know how to feel better in a healthy or productive way. So they often resort to criticizing others.
Insecurity can drive negative self-talk and self-criticism, but it can also manifest as things like jealousy, clinginess, approval-seeking behaviors, avoidance, bragging, competitiveness, guilt-tripping, bullying, and aggression towards others.
Insecurity and anxiety can lead to controlling behavior. Instead of using healthy coping skills, controlling people want to control the world around them in an attempt to feel better. Often, controlling behavior is the result of a mental condition that causes a person to have abnormal social expectations.
They make others unhappy
According to Alfred Adler, a Viennese psychoanalyst, insecure people have an inferiority complex. They feel low and doubt their abilities. The only way insecure people can make themselves happy is by making others unhappy. Their insecurity serves as a defense mechanism that protects their ego.
Toxic people are often insecure people. They tend to make themselves feel or seem better than others by talking badly about them rather than taking concrete actions to develop their skills. Toxic people feel entitled to judge others, their actions, decisions, and lifestyles.
Insecure types are extremely risk averse and unproductive. Some can be downright nasty or display abusive behaviors. Here are their most common toxic behaviors, according to Harvard career expert Amy Gallo: They are overly concerned about what others think of them.
Why do those people who suffer from being insecure, additionally, are usually angry? People who are insecure experience a lot of fear of being abandoned or disliked because they are unsure of themselves. There has been a trigger for anger. This behavior is usually a way to protect themselves.
The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity.
Perhaps the most fundamental difference is that arrogance often masks insecurity. That's why arrogant people are boastful about their achievements and abilities while tending to demean others. Confidence, on the other hand, stems from true self-worth: a belief and pride in your achievements and abilities.
Insecure people feel a constant need to validate their worth through others' opinions. They try to seek others' approval over their personality or work. They look for likes, comments and compliments from people and only feel happy when others acknowledge them.
“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P. Washington, a therapist at Choosing Therapy.
Having confidence in what you believe is essential in business. However, when someone gets defensive about their idea or point of view, it is usually a clear sign of insecurity. Defensiveness occurs if we know we aren't comfortable with what we are saying or doing.
People with insecure or anxious attachment styles may also experience jealousy in their relationships. For example, you might view other people as a threat to your relationship, or worry excessively about your partner's feelings for you.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members. This can extend to even the smallest of social encounters like a date.
There is no one cause of insecurity; many factors can lead to the condition. Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one's environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.
One sign of insecurity is low self-esteem or negative self-image, particularly when that image seems to be inconsistent with external observation. Low self-esteem means you think badly about yourself or your abilities. It can lead to other problems, especially concerning mental health.
The study also found that the younger the generation bracket, the earlier the insecurities. While the average American recalls those feelings first striking around age 13 or 14, it's actually the teens who are currently aged 13 to 17 who recall feeling anxiety about their looks around age nine or 10.
Being mean is a product of insecure self-esteem.
Freud argued that people cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having those same traits. Researchers have discovered that threatened self-esteem drives a lot of aggression.
Establish boundaries. Make clear rules about what is acceptable communication. People who struggle with insecurity may need constant reassurance and support, which you can't always provide. Give them clear boundaries so you don't feel overwhelmed or frustrated by their constant interaction or behavior.
Key points. Red flags in a relationship are intuitive indicators that something needs to be questioned. Relationship red flags include feelings of insecurity and negative feedback from one's friends and family. Any kind of abuse is the biggest red flag in a relationship.
It harms our physical health and mental health. Since our insecurities stem from our self-esteem, when we have many insecurities that take over our minds, it causes low self-esteem. Our low self-esteem can make us more prone to mental health issues like increased anxiety, depression, and more.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.