Essentially, all narcissists tell on themselves. Projection is the process through which they reveal who they are and what they're doing. Through projection, they call you what they are. They accuse you of doing what they're doing or planning on doing.
Indeed, their sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive them, and they tend to deny flaws in themselves and blame others for their own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes. This is called projection, and people with narcissistic tendencies are projection-heavy individuals.
These results suggest that narcissists do indeed have self-awareness of themselves and that they know their reputation.
Emotional reactions
So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them.
"Narcissism has never been about self-love – it is almost entirely about self-loathing." It's long been established that there are two types of narcissists: "vulnerable" ones, who have low self-esteem and crave affirmation, and "grandiose" ones, who have a genuinely overinflated sense of self.
Shame makes narcissists feel insecure and inadequate―vulnerable feelings that they must deny to themselves and others. This is one reason that they can't take criticism, responsibility, dissent, or negative feedback even when meant to be constructive. Instead, they demand unconditional, positive regard from others.
Despite how they might come across, narcissists are insecure. They are super sensitive to criticism and go to great lengths to protect their ego to maintain their sense of superiority. They may also rely on external validation and approval to feel good about themselves.
In general, a typical conversation with a narcissist might focus on superficial or material things on the one hand. On the other hand, they judge you or try to manipulate you into their way of thinking. Although, let's not forget that narcissism hides a tremendous amount of pain and insecurity underneath it all.
Analyzing their data, they found that they could reliably identify narcissists simply using the question: “To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist. ' (Note: The word 'narcissist' means egotistical, self-focused and vain.)”
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
They tend to brag and be elitist. Those with grandiose narcissism are aggressive, dominant, and exaggerate their importance. They are very self-confident and aren't sensitive. This behavior is usually the result of childhood neglect or abuse.
Narcissism: Tendencies of attention-seeking, charm, vanity, grandiose yet low self-esteem, and a willingness to manipulate others. Machiavellianism: Coldness, immoral thinking, long-term manipulation, blunt practicality, and hunger for money, success or power.
Narcissists may also display this insecurity through a tendency to be aggressive and controlling. Insecure narcissists often feel the need to dominate others, especially those they believe are weaker than themselves. Their aggressive nature is due in part to their fear of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.