Funeral anxiety can stem from many different issues, including social anxiety which can make you feel uncomfortable when asked to deliver a eulogy or play another important role in the funeral. You may feel uncomfortable expressing your emotions around people that you haven't seen for a long time.
Bring tissues or a handkerchief
Crying isn't always pretty. It's entirely okay, and you shouldn't feel worried about what you look like when you're feeling a strong emotion. However, bringing tissues or a handkerchief helps you feel more in control of your appearance when you're struggling with tears.
“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”
Usually people say a short prayer by the casket and then proceed to share their condolences with the family. Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family.
Funerals are emotional events and if there is family conflict, estranged relationships, or other reasons that can make the occasion uncomfortable, then the better personal choice may be to not attend. Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
While you should generally steer clear of bright colours and loud prints (unless otherwise requested), other things to avoid include very revealing or overly casual clothes, like ripped jeans, sheer tops or pieces with inappropriate cut-out details. Accessory-wise, keep things minimal.
It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.
While it's usually a good idea to attend the funeral if you're close to the deceased or the family, this isn't always the case. You shouldn't feel wrong about not wanting to attend the funeral, especially if you have a legitimate conflict.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
In western cultures, red is often seen as a color of joy, love, and vitality. It's the color of celebrations and positive energy. Wearing red to a funeral would be considered inappropriate because it would clash with the somber atmosphere and be viewed as disrespectful.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.
There are several reasons why people opt not to have a funeral. Here are a few common ones. A traditional funeral can end up being very expensive. As well as the fees for the funeral home, cemetery or crematorium, there are additional costs such as the flowers, casket, and headstone, which can all add up.
It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
Necrophobia is a specific phobia of death, or things associated with it, such as funerals, coffins and graveyards. Most of the time, however, our worries and nerves are linked to other things such as social anxiety or difficulty expressing emotion.
You need not stay long; fifteen minutes gives you enough time to express your sympathy and offer your support. Of course, if the bereaved indicates they would like you to remain for a while, take your cue from them and stay longer. Use your own judgment.