Be emotionally supportive, but don't push him to reveal details he's not ready to reveal. Set boundaries. Often, an emotionally unavailable man will take without giving back. Know your self-worth, and don't put up with it.
“Though their patience is never enough to make the problem go away, partners in marriage need to know they're loved and wanted and they need to hear it and feel it.” If you're involved with an emotionally unavailable person, your relationship isn't necessarily doomed.
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking for perfection for one reason only: they're deeply insecure. Since they're insecure and don't want to show any sign of a vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that 'no one is good enough' and they don't need to open up to anyone.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Waiting Can Make You Unavailable to Others
It's also important to consider that waiting for your partner could prevent you from pursuing other people. If they're emotionally unavailable, they may not be able to provide you with the commitment and support you're seeking.
Focus on your own feelings
Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.
No contact means that at least a temporarily unavailable man or woman has the time to think about the relationship and what might stop them from connecting with you or being emotionally intimate. During this time, they might take help from a therapist to become more emotionally available.
Yes, many men who appear to be emotionally unavailable might actually miss you even though they may never show it. It might not be a conscious decision. For some men, it could be an unconscious choice of avoidance in order to protect themselves from the pain of a possible loss.
Give him space to come around. Constantly trying to connect with your partner will only make him push you away even more. It's counterintuitive and isn't on the list of strategies on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable man. Instead, give him a long leash and let him run.
While emotional availability is a key part of healthy relationships, emotional unavailability tends to be characteristic of unhealthy or even toxic relationships or patterns. After all, a critical part of forming and maintaining meaningful relationships is getting vulnerable and taking some risks with our emotions.
He makes you a priority
But, one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man likes you is when he puts you in his plans. This means you're a priority in his life. He might avoid talking about his feelings because it makes him feel less of a man. However, he would care about you in the best way he can.
Friendship.
Even close friendship can be difficult because, at a certain level, friendship requires vulnerability. Emotionally unavailable people find banter, or their shared history with someone, easier to cope with so they'll often keep a friendship at a slight distance.
Dating unavailable people might be a defense mechanism and a barrier against developing intimacy with someone. If they're unavailable, your relationship will never progress to the point where they can profoundly wound you.
Set boundaries for what you will and won't allow in your relationship. An emotionally unavailable man may rely on confidence, control, or seduction to avoid emotional intimacy. Minimize these forms of manipulation by setting clear boundaries about what you will and won't accept as a part of your relationship.
Touch his cheeks, his forearms, his inner thighs, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands. These are all classic erogenous zones that are sure to leave him titillated!
To build emotional attraction with a man, be an active listener, share personal experiences, and show affection using his love language. A man feels emotionally attracted to someone when he feels understood and loved for his true self, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable—it might encourage him to open up to you.
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself.
When you ignore a man who's emotionally unavailable, it will start bothering him to such a degree that he'll start feeling depressed and anxious. He will try to figure things out on his own and won't turn to friends or family for advice.
Difficulty Showing Non-Sexual Affection
Emotionally distant men can view physical touch as overwhelming or unnecessary unless it leads to sex or is part of sex. They don't often initiate hugging, cuddling, or hand-holding.
If he has pulled away or ghosting you it does not always mean he is not interested. Keep your interactions positive. Let him know you are there for him. Do not beg, plead, or force him to open up his feelings.