It's perfectly normal to be unhappy in a relationship from time to time. But if there's a noticeable uptick in the frequency and duration of your feelings—so much so that your lives are more parallel than interwoven or you constantly prioritize friends over your partner—that could be an indication of a serious shift.
Research suggests that around 40 percent of people in relationships feel unhappy at some point. Not feeling happy is normal and okay. It can be normal to go through, and many relationships experience ebbs and flows in the level of enjoyment or happiness felt.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
You feel beaten down by the challenges you face in your life. You suffer from a variety of vague, hard-to-treat physical symptoms, such as fatigue, chronic pain, weight gain or loss, insomnia, skin disorders, or gastrointestinal symptoms. You struggle with being able to accept love and nurturing.
He first identified eight maladies that were causing unhappiness in his age: Meaninglessness, competition, boredom, fatigue, envy, guilt and shame, persecution mania and fear of public opinion.
You're Unhappy
And if you're staying with someone even though you don't enjoy being with him or her, you don't feel a real connection, and you find yourself actively going out of your way to spend time away from him or her, it's apparent that you're choosing to settle.
They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.
You don't like hanging out together anymore.
"You find yourself avoiding them as opposed to prioritizing them, and you don't miss them when you're not together." If you'd rather spend time away from them than with them, it shows that you're happier alone, which isn't what a relationship is about.
We hear from many people who tell us about unhealthy behaviors or feeling unhappy in a relationship but say that they still love their partners. It's very possible to have feelings of love for someone even if they are mistreating you. It's important to recognize that love is just one part of a whole.
"If you stop laughing and no longer enjoy being around that person, this should raise a red flag," Johns-Carter told INSIDER. "When you start to realize that time spent with that special someone is no longer enjoyable or even feels necessary, you should really take a look at your deeper feelings."
Lack of intimacy: This can include a lack of both physical and emotional intimacy. You feel like you don't know your partner anymore or that they don't know you. Lack of connection: It seems like you're never on the same page. This can make it difficult to make decisions as a couple and often contributes to conflict.
Remember that a toxic relationship is one where love is prioritized over everything else, including respect, trust, and affection for each other. It's more than just a “rough patch”—it's a recurring, long-term pattern of bad behavior on one or both sides.
The likelihood of a breakup jumps down as the second and again the third years of a relationship pass. But the fourth year of a couple's life is just as likely as the third to end in departure. It's only after a couple reaches the 5th year of their relationship that the likelihood of break up falls sharply.
Studies suggest that most people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
You're in the right relationship if you feel your partner is there for you when you need support, and that the relationship is overall a great addition to your life. In short, it's adding value to the joy you experience in life. Conflict in a relationship is inevitable and normal.
When your focus is on the time and energy you've invested in an endeavor rather than the love, joy and gratification you've gained, you're probably settling. When you're making excuses about why you should stay put rather than going for what you truly want, you're probably settling.
There are many reasons you may feel unhappy: you may be going through a stressful time at work or school; you may be too hard on yourself; or you may be experiencing a mental health condition like depression or anxiety or substance abuse.
Still, eliminating habits that make you unhappy really does help. Unhappiness is usually a byproduct of stress, anger, insecurity, unhealed trauma, frustration, low self-esteem, poor health, hunger not under your control, lack of belonging/connection, or lack of life purpose/meaning.
The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy. This article discusses why each may cause a relationship to come to an end.