“You'll know you've designated someone your favorite if you have intense feelings for them. These feelings can range from affection to resentment and everywhere in between. Your favorite person will likely be someone you think about often and frequently speak to.”
It's natural to have a favorite person you want to hang out with or share your problems with, but it can become an issue when that person is your only source of happiness or validation.
especially : a person who is specially loved, trusted, or provided with favors by someone of high rank or authority.
While a best friend can be an FP, it's usually so much more than that — and it's important to know the differences. To oversimplify, best friends are people you love and count on, but a favorite person is someone you have an emotional dependence on, someone who can “make or break” your day.
Objective. Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on. This study aims to identify and illustrate the patterns of destructive FP relationships based on actual experiences described by those with BPD.
The Dangers of a “Favorite Person” Relationship
Being a favorite person can feel exhausting as well. They may feel pressured to give up other interests or relationships to make their partner happy. It's common for them to feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells to avoid their partner's BPD triggers.
Getting over a favorite person in BPD means that the person has worked through and overcome their intense emotional attachment to that individual. This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety.
In general, the more emotional you feel about a certain person, the more likely you are experiencing love. For example, you might feel chemistry with your friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have an easy time talking to each other. When you love someone these feelings are more intense.
"Situationships are typically kind of an unspoken arrangement two people that are casually seeing each other romantically or physically," Klesman says. "That can vary from having regular communication to like kind of hitting each other up every so often."
This individual is often described as their 'favorite person,' and may be anyone from a teacher, to a best friend, or even a family member. However, because of the nature of this condition, the favorite person connection may sometimes swing between extreme love and attachment, to a strong dislike.
This person can be anyone, but it's often a romantic partner, family member, good friend, or another supportive person (like a coach, therapist, or teacher). This person may become the source of all happiness and validation (potentially leading to relationship burnout for the other partner).
This is where the term “favorite person” comes from in the borderline community. There is usually one of two people that we absolutely idolize and want to spend all our time with, and if they are busy and can't spend time with us we tend to get angry and feel abandoned.
The truth is that if you are attracted to someone who has borderline personality disorder there is a chance you have several issues of your own. Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
"A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship," explains psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert. "Unlike a friends with benefits or relationship, there isn't consensus on what it is." Why is this becoming a trend now?
"One of the big red flags of a situationship is that all communication is inconsistent. You may get a text or a call from the other individual but without any normal pattern," Cooper says.
This section focuses on four types of relationships: Family relationships, Friendships, Acquaintanceships and Romantic relationships.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days. Chronic feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger. Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one's body, or feelings of unreality.