Usually, a gift of money at a funeral is between $70 and $120. The customary gift is what you would typically spend on flowers. Here are some ideas on offering money and other appropriate memorial gifts before, during, or after a funeral service.
Generally, it would depend on factors like your closeness to the deceased or family, your own financial ability, and the family's perceived need. The most common minimum amount is $30. From there, you can increase the amount if you'd like, as long as the initial digits make up an odd number.
Consider Sending Memorial Money
You don't have to send a gift along with the card, but you certainly can. Many people send flowers, but it's also really easy to put money on the card. When you send the money, let the family know you want them to honor their loved one in whatever way they see fit.
Monetary gift
The 'white gold' is preferably in odd numbers such as $30 or $50 and is placed in a white envelope which will be given to the bereaved loved ones at the funeral reception. Avoid red envelope as it is a colour associated with happiness and is not appropriate for a funeral wake.
Chinese funeral guests can be expected to give the grieving family money, 奠儀 (diàn yí), at the funeral or one day prior. The traditional gift is an odd dollar amount, starting at $101, in a white envelope. It may be handed to a family member or put into a donation box.
For Funeral Visitors
You may politely decline for religious or other reasons and choose to observe a moment of silence and bow as a general sign of respect. If it's an open casket funeral and you are close to the deceased, you may also round about the coffin to pay your respect and bid the deceased one last farewell.
Joss Paper, also known as ghost or spirit money, are sheets of paper that are burned in traditional Chinese deity or ancestor worship ceremonies during special holidays. Joss paper is also burned in traditional Chinese funerals.
Chinese families will typically give the guests a red envelope with either a coin or a dollar bill in it for good luck and a white envelope that has a piece of candy in it to take away the bitter taste of death. They also do not put pictures of the deceased loved one on the casket.
A casket often is the single most expensive item you'll buy if you plan a "traditional" full-service funeral. Caskets vary widely in style and price and are sold primarily for their visual appeal.
If you're asking whether you should bring a gift to a funeral service, the answer is generally yes. While a gift is not usually required to attend the service, it's considered polite not to arrive empty-handed. This is especially true if you're close to the family.
Refer to the deceased by name. Encourage the family to plan a wake, funeral and burial (even if cremated), if you are in an appropriate position to do so. Send flowers with a note (see suggestions for notes below) or offer a donation to a charity or an appropriate research organization. Acknowledge the deceased's life.
You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. Wishing you peace, comfort, courage, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. Wishing you the best and know you have my full support in every moment.
When attending a service, be on time and enter the house of worship or location where the funeral will be held as quietly as possible. If there are no ushers, remember that the seats closer to the front should be taken by very close friends, with acquaintances seating themselves in the middle or towards the rear.
Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.
There's no getting around the fact that royal send-offs are expensive. Princess Diana's 1997 funeral cost between 3 million and 5 million pounds in 1997, or somewhere between $7 million and $8 million when adjusted for inflation.
Caskets are generally more expensive than coffins because they are usually lined with finer material and include extra features like cushions and interior trimmings. The double lid tops allow for a viewing, if that's something you would like to include in the funeral ceremony.
Caskets usually cost more than coffins because they're prettier and fancier. Unlike caskets, coffins have six sides and are wider on the top than on the bottom. This tapered design was chosen to match the shape of the body as the shoulders are wider than the feet. Coffins also do not have hinged lids.
It's general practice to give condolence money or “pek kim” during and not after a funeral. Take note that you're not required to do so, but it's good practice otherwise. But, if you're close with the family, it's within your discretion to provide financial assistance after the event.
Giving money at a funeral is an excellent way of showing the family your support. Cash donations help meet funeral expenses and household bills while awaiting life insurance payouts. Your financial gift is one way to show your love, but the family will likely appreciate other methods.
Guests at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red, must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. White is acceptable and, if the deceased was 80 or above, white with pink or red is acceptable as the event is cause for celebration.
In Chinese culture and most Asian cultures, color symbolism is very significant, which applies to sympathy or funeral flowers as well. Since the color white is associated with death and grief, white flowers like lilies and chrysanthemums are always appreciated. Yellow chrysanthemums are also considered suitable.
A red envelope (hongbao in Mandarin, lai see in Cantonese, and ang pow in Hokkien) is a gift of money inserted into an ornate red pocket of paper. They are given on some important occasions, such as Chinese New Year, birthdays, and weddings in China and some other Asian countries as a way to send good wishes.
During this time, the family is expected to wear the dark clothing they put on at the time of death. They welcome friends and relatives into their home and accept gifts of flowers, incense, fruit, candles and paper money. A small "soul table" is set up to display a photo of the deceased and display the gifts.
Chinese burial money (traditional Chinese: 瘞錢; simplified Chinese: 瘗钱; pinyin: yì qián) a.k.a. dark coins (traditional Chinese: 冥錢; simplified Chinese: 冥钱; pinyin: míng qián) are Chinese imitations of currency that are placed in the grave of a person that is to be buried.