Even the closest romantic partners can occasionally run out things to talk about with each other. Although you might think this means that your relationship has run its course, it's natural to feel a little stuck in the chatting department from time to time.
While you may be mourning the heart-to-hearts and endless banter you shared when you were falling in love, what you're experiencing isn't abnormal. And the fact you're no longer conversing with the frequency and curiosity you once did doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.
As therapist Merissa Goolsarran, LCSW, says, running out of things to say to each other could also mean that your relationship is just stuck in a comfort zone. But that only becomes a problem when it stems from boredom, and nothing is being done to turn things around.
Now, every couple ends up taking their own spin on this conversation, but the general rule of thumb here is that you are regularly (about once per week) having a discussion about the health of your relationship.
We Filter Too Much: we try to only talk about subjects that sound interesting, fun, cool, impressive, and make us sound smart. We also avoid subjects that would make us sound boring, weak, weird, or uncool. And because of all that pressure to select the “right things to talk about”, we end up having nothing to say.
Zoning out is one of the more common warning signs of ADHD in both children and adults. Zoning out in conversations with family, or meetings at work are a reflection of attention issues, which is a leading sign in the diagnosis of ADHD.
Even the closest romantic partners can occasionally run out things to talk about with each other. Although you might think this means that your relationship has run its course, it's natural to feel a little stuck in the chatting department from time to time.
While there are no set rules in relationships for how often you and your partner should talk throughout the day, knowing how much or how little to talk throughout the day for both of you to have healthy, productive days is key in your relationship.
Should You Talk To Your Partner Every Day? Every couple is unique, so there's really no hard-and-fast rule about how often you and your boo should talk. According to author and relationship expert Susan Winter, the way to know if your communication frequency is healthy is if it's actually working.
"I say it's 'unfortunately' common because it's not a healthy habit, it's not a sustainable habit, and it makes you less independent and less productive in your day-to-day life." Should couples talk every day? According to Gordon, texting at least four times a week is healthy, but at least once every day is ideal.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
If you're not sharing what's really on your mind, it might be a sign that you no longer want a deep connection. Similarly, if you've found that the usual fun banter between you is gone, or it's difficult to have engaging conversations, your bond could be getting weaker.
Relationships headed for long-term success show the partners are comfortable, squabbles diminish, perspective increases, and chivalry emerges. Great relationships emerge from non-threatening moments of easy negotiation, intertwining current and future goals.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
In the context of psychoanalysis, the patient's feeling that they have nothing to say is often an indication of transference feelings. Sometimes the feeling that you have nothing to say is a defense against something you do not want to say. Feeling you have nothing to say is sometimes a sign of projection.
Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline. Keep in mind that this depends on how often you talk to your crush.
It isn't unusual for relationships to get boring from time to time. Sometimes it can be a sign that you need to take steps to reinvigorate the relationship, but at other times it can be a sign of something more serious. The key to addressing it is to open up a line of communication with your partner.
To be safe, couples would serve themselves well to see each other once a week for the first month, and then increase the frequency after that point. Most importantly, men and women should not feel anxious or rushed while forging a new relationship.
And, of course, there are several topics that couples should discuss regularly to keep their marriage happy and healthy: finances, their sex life, their day, the issues they're facing. While they might seem insignificant or, let's face it, a bit boring, they're essential to making sure you're on the same wavelength.
Examples of Clinginess in Relationships
Calling your partner several times a day. Repeatedly messaging them throughout the day. Working yourself into a panic when they don't respond. Constantly stalking your partner's activities on social media.
Why texting constantly isn't always healthy. “Texting all day can be a sign of a codependent relationship,” warns Gordon, who adds that by engaging in it, you risk giving up your independence in the relationship. This can have repercussions, not only in the relationship itself, but when and if you break up.
Twenty years into marriage, the average couple talks for 21 minutes of the hour; 30 years in, conversation takes up 16 minutes. And by 50 years of marital bliss, the average couple converses for three minutes in an hour!