Understand that unspoiling a child is a gradual process. It takes time to spoil a child, and it will take time to teach new values and better behavior. Most children have natural impulses toward compassion and helping others. Cultivate these impulses by emphasizing how it feels good to make others feel good.
Most spoiled children are 3 years or older. Their normal testing behavior has become deliberate. If you see this happening in your child, take charge. You can prevent raising a spoiled child.
So un-spoiling is doable. But don't hold off on implementing these changes: The older the child, the more difficult it will be. “Remember, there is no gene for spoiled,” Borba said. “It's a learned behavior that can be unlearned — and the quicker, the better.”
Spoiled children sometimes fail to learn responsible behavior. These children may end up developing social problems like overspending, gambling, overeating, and drug abuse in their adulthood. Such adults may lack emotional maturity and struggle to manage essential responsibilities like work, finances, and family.
The reasons behind disrespectful behavior include the perfectly normal and healthy process of your child growing up and away from his identity as a younger child. Teens naturally seek more independence as they get older, and mild disrespect is one way that independence gets expressed.
Because they don't get along well with other children and adults, spoiled children eventually become unhappy. They may show decreased motivation and perseverance in their school work. There is also an association with increased risk-taking behaviors during adolescence, such as drug abuse.
When spoiled youngsters become teenagers, they're more prone to excessive self-absorption, lack of self-control, anxiety, and depression, says Dan Kindlon, PhD, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.
Point out Ungratefulness
When you hear your child say or do something that shows an ungrateful attitude, point it out. Be specific without being insulting. For instance, avoid saying something like, “Stop being a brat.” Instead, say something like, “Complaining about not getting more presents is ungrateful.
While cases vary across parents, a survey of more than 2,000 moms showed that parents of 12- to 14-year-old teens had a harder time than parents of toddlers, elementary school children, high school children, and adult children.
If our child is acting like a brat, she's either signaling that she needs a stronger connection with us, that she's got some big feelings she needs our help with, or that she can't meet our expectations without some tailored support.
Both depression and anxiety tend to be higher in older children and teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17. An estimated 3.2 million adolescents aged 12 to 17 in the United States had at least one major depressive episode.
Being spoiled is not recognized as a mental disorder in any of the medical manuals, such as the ICD-10 or the DSM-IV, or its successor, the DSM-5.
Things come a bit easier and spoiled kids are used to getting their way, so they often have a tougher time with life's downsides and give up quicker. Curbs self-esteem. Self-centered individuals have a higher likelihood of troubled relationships, depression, anxiety and lower self-esteem.
Experiencing regret about having kids can be a lonely, difficult experience. It's important to realize that you aren't alone, and that not every parent finds having children a fulfilling or rewarding experience. You are not a bad person if you experience regret.
Disrespectful Child Behavior Parents Should NOT Ignore
Make no mistake, when true disrespect is directed toward a specific parent or sibling and it's demeaning and rude, it has to be dealt with immediately. If your child doesn't see the line between disrespect and mild rebelliousness, you need to talk with him.
They are not paying attention to the situation and don't notice the disrespectful behavior. They have gotten used to the behavior. They aren't sure how to change the behavior. The behavior fits their expectation of how kids behave.
These can include biological reasons, like being hungry or overtired. It can include communication issues related to learning challenges. It also can include emotional reasons, like not being able to cope with or describe their feelings. Their environment can also influence behavior.
They become quite independent as they reach 5-6 years of age, even wanting to help you with some of the chores! This is probably why most parents look at age 6 as the magical age when parenting gets easier.