It is extremely bad manners, vulgar and crude, for a parent to ask for "cash gifts" for their child's birthday.
Most etiquette experts will tell you it's never okay to ask for money as a gift.
The quick answer is no, said Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, based in Marblehead, Massachusetts. She said events like birthdays, graduations and weddings are not fundraisers, so it is not appropriate to outright ask for money.
While most etiquette experts agree that $20-$30 is perfectly reasonable for a child's birthday gift, you can spend up to $100 on the child of a close friend or relative, says Helen Holden, founder of Counting Candles, a website that helps parents plan birthday parties.
Money etiquette experts suggest spending $10 to $20 for classmates while expanding the budget to $25 for close friends, $50 for relatives and upwards of $100 for your own children.
Giving money as a gift—or even asking for money as a gift—used to be considered tacky. But not anymore. "Money is an appropriate gift," says etiquette expert Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol. "Studies say that it is the most welcomed gift—the one gift that most people want."
“Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our dream honeymoon/house deposit/renovation.” “Please do not feel obliged to buy us a gift, all that we are expecting is you.
There's no rule that says you can't ask for money as a wedding gift. It may feel like a wedding faux pas, but these days there's no need to stick with tradition when it comes to your big day. Communicating your wishes and desires is never a bad thing — after all, it's your celebration.
While there's nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, it's not a situation you want to be in forever. Your parents need to save for retirement, and you need to feel independent and financially secure in your own right.
Money as a Reward Is the Worst! According to some experts, money as a behavior reward doesn't work because it puts finances ahead of personal relationships. Instead of your kid seeing how their actions hurt or benefit others, they see only that there's been a negative or positive effect on their pocketbook.
Experts recommend that parents give their children monetary gifts while they're alive, rather than leaving everything in a will. This helps adult children when they need it most, and it can reduce inheritance taxes when a parent dies.
The main reason for giving pocket money is to help children learn to manage money while they are young and you can still guide them. It is a valuable way to teach responsibility. Pocket money can help children feel that they are important members of the family because they are given part of the family's spending money.
So if no gifts are expected at your party, it's pretty much necessary to say so. And if you are the recipient of an invitation asking you not to bring a gift, it's polite to honor the wishes of the host. Don't bring a gift. In this case, doing so is impolite.
“Never ask someone how much something costs — this can be a gift, holiday travel expenses or a holiday budget,” said Joy Weaver, a protocol and etiquette expert. You also should never ask how much someone is planning on spending on a gift.
Whether you have limited space in your home or simply don't need any more stuff, it's perfectly acceptable to decline gifts at your next event. But when that gathering is one where guests typically bring a present, like a wedding or a baby shower, you'll want to give everyone a heads-up about your no-gifts preference.
An easy rule of thumb is to stay within the average range of $75 to $200, but you can adjust the exact amount based on your personal finances, as well as your relationship with the couple.
Yes, you may share your wish for cash or gift cards, but the best way to do so is very tactfully and carefully. Don't make it sound like an expectation, and always be as gracious as possible. It also depends on the person -- if it's someone you're very close to -- your mom, sibling, spouse, etc.
“Remember, the best presents anyone can give, is being there for their loved ones.” However, if you have a closer relationship or want to give a bigger gift, consider spending around $50 or more. It is important to consider your friend's interests and preferences when selecting a gift and the amount you can afford.
In my family, for example, we set a budget and go from there—and many families do the same. According to a November 2022 study, most parents are budgeting $220 for each child—with the highest budgets for 7 to 12-year-olds, though 28% of those surveyed are trying to keep it below $100.