The cry-it-out (CIO) method is just as it sounds: letting your baby cry it out during sleep training. The method works because babies need to learn how to fall asleep, just like they learn other skills, such as rolling over, crawling, and walking.
One of the most straightforward ways to sleep train your baby is with the "cry it out" method (CIO). It's not for every family; as the name suggests, it involves tears (baby's, and probably yours, too).
There is no arbitrary amount of crying that means a child has cried “too much.” Your child should be given the amount of time and space they need in order to figure out how to fall asleep on their own. Your child expressing their feelings during sleep training should be honored and accepted.
Key points. Mothers and babies are designed to be a mutually responsive dyad. Babies express their needs to the mother (or caregiver) through crying. Letting babies "cry it out" is a form of need-neglect that leads to many long-term effects.
Because of this “cry-it-out” sleep training can be damaging to a rapidly growing brain – and to a growing psyche. Researchers have documented how, with sleep training, infants' fight and flight instincts activate in the face of extensive distress, such as being left without comforting physical touch.
Of the few studies that have looked at the short- to longer-term outcomes of sleep training, none have found an effect on a baby's attachment or mental health.
Is the cry it out method harmful or safe for babies? There are no data to support that the cry it out method is harmful in the short term or long term. On the contrary, a 2020 study found that babies who were sleep trained using a graduated extinction method showed increased security and attachment after the program.
It's OK to let your baby cry if the baby doesn't seem sick and you've tried everything to soothe your baby. You can try to leave your baby alone in a safe place, such as a crib, for about 10 to 15 minutes. Many babies need to cry before they can fall asleep. And they'll nod off faster if you leave them to cry.
For the cry-it-out method, you let your baby cry until they fall asleep, and rest assured they will. Some babies may protest for 25 minutes, others 65 minutes, and some even longer. It's important not to put a time limit on it (that's a different sleep-training method).
For some babies, that may be 5 or 10 minutes; for others, crying may continue on and off for several hours. As long as you put your baby to bed with a full tummy and a dry diaper, and they aren't sick or injured, it's safe to allow them to cry.
He says for most methods of extinction-based sleep training, including the Ferber method, babies usually cry the hardest on the second or third night.
4.5-5.5 Months. Most experts recommend sleep training around this time, when babies can make it 6 to 8 hours without feeding overnight. But keep in mind that your little one is learning that crying gets a response from you—so expect plenty of waterworks when you leave the room!
Change them. If they are overstimulated but it's not time for a nap yet, then just take them to a quiet room, engage in a calming activity, or do some cuddles. If your child is overtired, it's okay to help him or her to fall asleep. If your child is hurt or sick, obviously tend to him or her right away.
But there are two main issues with both variations of this sleep training. Babies can become distressed during longer periods of crying, with raised levels of stress hormones. In addition, not responding to a baby's cries goes against everything we know about building positive attachment relationships.
For young infants, learning to self soothe also isn't physiologically possible. In time, they will mature and learn to settle without as much parental help. However, think about how poorly you might sleep while your partner is away…
The “No Tears” Method
This method, also known as the Gentle Sleep Training method, focuses on helping your baby learn to sleep on their own without any crying. To accomplish this, the method leans heavily on a consistent bedtime routine.
All newborns cry and get fussy sometimes. It's normal for a baby to cry for 2–3 hours a day for the first 6 weeks. During the first 3 months of life, they cry more than at any other time.
Prolonged crying can lead to a state of exhaustion for a baby, which can cause them to become less alert and less able to interact with their environment. When a baby is crying, they are using a lot of energy and expending a lot of physical effort.
Place a chair near your baby's crib and sit next to them until they fall asleep. Leave the room. If your baby begins to cry, come back into their room and sit in the chair until they fall asleep. You can pat them and say a few soothing words, but don't pick them up.
Parental use of 'cry it out' in infants: no adverse effects on attachment and behavioural development at 18 months.
Attachment theory suggests parents should dash to calm their infants, and proponents say leaving infants to cry could have knock-on effects including damaging the bond between parent and child and raising the infant's stress levels.
Many parents feel they are potentially scarring their children emotionally. However, based on the research done in this area, there has been no evidence of negative psychological impacts in children who are sleep trained.