A 2017 study confirms what many parents already instinctively know: You should pick up babies every time they cry. The research from the University of Notre Dame found that it was impossible to spoil an infant by holding or cuddling him, according to an article at News.co.au.
The Bottom Line
As long as your baby's essential needs are being met and you actively engage them in a loving way, how much or how little you hold them is entirely up to you. If you want to hold them, do. If you want to put them down, even if they cry, that's fine as well.
If your baby cries for you, experts suggest that you let her cry for a short interval of between two minutes and 10 minutes, before going to comfort her. You can gently pat and reassure her while she's still in her cot or pick her up and put her down again.
Self-soothing
Many parents begin to pause before responding, or allow children to cry during bedtime without running to their sides around this age to teach children to sleep on their own. Even using this method, many suggest that babies should not be allowed to cry for more than 10 minutes without your attention.
It's OK to let your baby cry if the baby doesn't seem sick and you've tried everything to soothe your baby. You can try to leave your baby alone in a safe place, such as a crib, for about 10 to 15 minutes. Many babies need to cry before they can fall asleep. And they'll nod off faster if you leave them to cry.
A baby "should simply be allowed to 'cry it out'. This often requires an hour, and in extreme cases, two or three hours. A second struggle will seldom last more than 10 or 15 minutes and a third will rarely be necessary."
Even at 3 months, an age when some babies could start sleeping for longer stretches, letting them cry it out isn't recommended.
If you think your crying baby calms down when you pick him or her up is because of the warm embrace of your loving arms, think again: there is a more scientific reason. In fact, what happens is that their heart rate slows and they 'automatically and deeply' relax.
Contrary to popular myth, it's impossible for parents to hold or respond to a baby too much, child development experts say. Infants need constant attention to give them the foundation to grow emotionally, physically and intellectually.
Most newborns have pretty strong preferences to be held or next to you almost constantly, and it's actually for a pretty good reason. Your baby is doing their best to communicate with you that they need to be close to you for their safety and development.
“Babies often cry out of loneliness because they're not being held or rocked constantly. They need these things as they go through this period of rapid development,” Narvaez says. “Young babies should be attended to empathically and quickly so their systems learn to be calm instead of agitated or aggravated.”
Babies express their needs to the mother (or caregiver) through crying. Letting babies "cry it out" is a form of need-neglect that leads to many long-term effects. Consequences of the "cry it out" method include: It releases stress hormones, impairs self-regulation, and undermines trust.
No parent wants to idly stand by and listen to their baby fuss, but that's the game plan with the full cry it out (CIO) method. That means you DO NOT just answer their crying call as soon as it goes out. Instead, you give them an opportunity to independently work it out and nod off.
Leaving an infant to 'cry it out' from birth up to 18 months does not adversely affect their behaviour development or attachment, researchers from the University of Warwick have found, they also discovered that those left to cry cried less and for a shorter duration at 18 months of age.
What Is PURPLE Crying? PURPLE crying is a stage that some babies go through when they seem to cry for long periods of time and resist soothing. Your baby may find it hard to settle or calm down no matter what you do for them. The phrase PURPLE crying was coined by the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome.
It can also affect their brain development and have long-term effects on their behavior and emotional regulation. In addition, prolonged crying can also lead to a state of exhaustion for the baby, which can cause them to become less alert and less able to interact with their environment.
Researchers have also found that babies who are regularly left to cry for long periods are likely to experience overactive adrenaline systems, which can lead to aggressive and impulsive behaviour.
Because the crying may signify that the baby is experiencing stress, opponents of the method consider it harsh and potentially damaging. Research suggests that excessive stress-induced crying may be linked to brain changes during a critical growth period.
Most newborns reach a crying peak at about 6 weeks. Then their crying starts to decrease. By 3 months, they usually only cry for about an hour a day. This is what is considered a “normal” crying pattern.
Leaving an infant to 'cry it out' from birth up to 18 months does not appear to adversely affect their behavior development or attachment.
The longer you hold your baby, the better. Any amount of time is good, but it is best to try for at least 1 to 2 hours each day.