It is very typical for a child who is 2 or 3 years old to start hitting or biting to express frustration or to get something they want. Toddlers have more motor control than infants, but don't yet have a lot of language to communicate what they need or want. Frustration is normal and to be expected.
"I call toddlerhood the 'hitting stage' of development because this behavior can be common in children between 1 and 2 years old," says Deborah Glasser, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Richmond, Virginia, and former chair of the National Parenting Education Network.
A 2- or 3-year-old who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told in a calm, neutral voice why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down.
Hitting, as well as biting, is normal behavior for any toddler, which is between 1-3 years old. Preschoolers may also hit, though the behavior will happen less frequently.
Temper tantrums usually start at around 18 months and are very common in toddlers. Hitting and biting are common, too. One reason for this is toddlers want to express themselves, but find it difficult. They feel frustrated, and the frustration comes out as a tantrum.
Discipline can be a difficult concept for a one-year-old toddler to understand. However, at this age they can still learn certain boundaries. Most of your disciplining at this age will be setting limits and teaching your child what good behavior is, instead of explicitly disciplining them for unwanted behavior.
Try blocking the hit so they never make contact and then completely ignore the incident. Kids thrive on reaction and it doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. It's kind of the same concept as ignoring the kid who hits and giving all the attention to the kid who got hit.
Limited impulse control. A toddler may understand rules about not hitting, but struggle to stop themself from hitting or biting when they're feeling frustrated. The ability to control those impulses may not fully develop until they're close to 4 years old, with support from loving parents and caregivers.
It should be a short lived problem, and over within a couple of months! Hopefully you'll find some tips to practice right away to stop you toddler from hitting, biting, and pushing that has worked for us with all 3 kids.
Before you sign them up for toddler bootcamp, take a breath and realize that biting and hitting are common among young children. Your kid is testing limits and attention-getting strategies, which is totally normal.
If it's your child's first or second or third hit, take it easy. The thing to do is to gently, calmly move their arm away from the person they are hitting, so they can't hit again. You can let them try. Just keep their arm from landing on you or anyone else.
The good news is that tantrums, meltdowns, aggressions like hitting and biting, and lying are “normal” behavior for most 2- and 3-year-olds.
“When a toddler hits another person, it's best to give them something that they can hit, such as a pillow or a stuffed animal, instead,” says Klein. “When parents and caregivers do this, they should label the child's feelings and show them what to hit, as in: 'You are so frustrated, you can hit this pillow! '”
After all, a child this age is still too young to be disciplined, right? Not quite. While tactics like time-outs or taking away privileges don't work well on toddlers (they aren't old enough to link cause and effect), this is actually a good time to introduce your child to the concept of right and wrong.
Toddlers are unlikely to understand the substance of the yell, and will only absorb the frustration, or fury, Gershoff explained. Yelling at this age group isn't likely to get them to do something quicker, or stop doing something foolish. Also, pay attention to how a child responds to yelling.
They are usually hitting as a basic instinct because they lack the vocabulary to voice their will. Hence, lengthy discussions and moralizing speeches are often wasted on a toddler who is throwing a tantrum. Severe cases of hitting may require a child to be seen by a counselor.
Take the child by the hand and say, "It is not okay to hit people. I'm sorry you are feeling hurt and upset. You can talk about it or you can hit this pillow, but people aren't for hitting." Help the child deal with the anger.
Although babies initially hit as a method of exploration, if the person they've hit laughs or looks surprised, the baby might find this amusing and think its a fun game to play. Your baby isn't trying to hurt you, but play a game with you.
“Infants are fairly resilient, but we are concerned about harm when yelling out of anger around an infant or towards an infant happens at a significant level of intensity or commonly in the home,” says Horvitz. “This will likely increase infant anxiety, which overtime may have an impact similar to trauma.”
Babies begin to understand what “no” means between 6 and 18 months and may even begin to tell themselves “no-no.” While you might be quick to yell “no” if they're pulling on your necklace or opening drawers, constantly telling them “no” can make them think that everything is off limits.
While these can sometimes be due to frustration, often they are driven by sensory exploration. Some children like the feel of slapping and the sensory feedback they get.