Many people worry that their children are too young to go to a funeral and won't understand what is happening. But most children have a full understanding of death by the time they are about 8-10 years old and many younger children will have enough understanding to go to the funeral.
There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way. If you were estranged from the parent, you may have already grieved their death in your own way.
Close family and friends of the person who died will likely attend the visitation and funeral service. Others may attend both or may need to or prefer to attend one or the other but not both.
Being late is rude in any situation, but when it comes to a funeral, being late can be both incredibly disrespectful and disruptive. The last thing you want to do while others are grieving is to draw attention away from the service by arriving late. So plan ahead, and be on time. Or better yet, aim to get there early!
For a traditional, formal setting, young boys and teens can wear slacks and a suit. This doesn't need to be black, but it should be in a neutral color.
Teens may require guidance concerning what to wear, she added. “Let them know there's a certain way to dress that expresses respect and that means no dirty jeans and flip-flops,” she said. “You may not need a fancy suit, but it should be something clean and presentable.”
Can you wear jeans to a funeral? The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.
Is It Okay to Smile at a Funeral? It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
It's Okay to Cry: How to Embrace Crying and Your Feelings. Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. You're allowed to show your emotions, even if it feels awkward at first. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette.
It can feel embarrassing and you might not understand why you feel so upset. Or you could be a close family member and find it annoying someone is crying loudly. Emotions can run high on the day but it's important to remember they're not always under someone's control at such a heightened time.
A traditional service taken by a minister, either in the church or a funeral home can take between 20-30 minutes. A service taken by a civil celebrant or a humanist can sometimes be just 15 minutes. Every funeral is different however and there are often exceptions to this.
The appropriate attire for a funeral or memorial service is simple: dress to show respect for the person whose life you are remembering. This means selecting clothes that are more conservative, not flashy or brightly colored. Darker dresses, suits, pants, jackets and sweaters are appropriate.
Speaking at a memorial service is an honour. It gives you the privilege of paying respect to the person who has died, and of helping those who have gathered for the event. Speaking at your father's funeral is a special way of honouring him and the relationship you had with him.
It is not a selfish act to request not to have a funeral after you pass away. There are many reasons why you may not want to have a funeral and any of them are valid. You deserve to have any send-off that you wish for, so don't be afraid to share your last wishes with your family openly and honestly.
When you cannot pay your respects at a funeral or memorial. Whatever the reason you can't attend, guilt is a normal feeling. But remember, you did not actually fail your loved one. Let the family know as soon as possible, and offer to help in another way.
In general, if you're on good terms with your ex-spouse and ex-family, you should attend the funeral. You were a big part of your spouse's life at one time. Even if you've gone separate ways, those memories and feelings are still very real. If you were on good terms, you'll likely be welcome to any funeral events.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
If during the ceremony there has been a few laughs along the way, I often ask the guests to give the speakers a clap. It is a huge accomplishment for many speaker so thanking them in this way is appropriate. The celebrant has the ability to set the tone for the ceremony.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
A sweatshirt (think fleece, hoodie material) should not be worn to a funeral. A sweater is a knitted or crocheted shirt, often made from cotton or wool. In colder temperatures, a sweater also can be worn on top of a button-down shirt and necktie for added warmth.
While short hemlines are fashionable, they don't have a place at a funeral service or memorial. It's certainly possible to wear a skirt that is above the knee, but you shouldn't wear anything that reveals too much when you bend down. If you're worried about the length, it's probably too short.
Shoes may be casual but it's best to avoid athletic shoes or sneakers. Flip flops and sandals are probably not appropriate. Avoid jeans (unless the geography or climate dictate them), short-sleeved shirts, and sneakers. Baseball caps are rarely appropriate.