May respond quickly to threats. Might be independent and not rely on the support of colleagues. Perhaps likely to focus on their job and productivity. May be able to communicate effectively and seek support when necessary.
A fearful avoidant attachment style describes a person who craves closeness and support. However, they also fear it and feel the need to distance themselves from others at the same time.
High levels of avoidance
They fear closeness to their partners and avoid them because of the possibility of rejection. They don't feel comfortable getting close to others. What is this? Avoidant adults worry about being hurt if they become too close to others.
A fearful-avoidant individual often benefits from the securely attached person's nonreactive, stable energy. At the same time, it's important for those with a secure attachment style to avoid taking the role of "rescuing" or "fixing" a partner who is not securely attached.
Avoidant attachers are less likely to require the support of others in the workplace when making decisions. They are highly independent and are more likely to have confidence in their professional choices and abilities. Therefore, they often increase efficiency and reduce the demand for resources at work.
“If a fearful avoidant colleague aligns more with anxious attachment, stressful situations may trigger their fight response.” Another potential benefit of having a fearful avoidant attachment in the workplace is that you may not require the support of your colleagues in order to make decisions or finish tasks.
It is in this peak moment of their recovery process that the fearful-avoidant may start reaching out. At this point, their emotions are heightened, and they often become unable to decide what they want: do they want to get back together, or do they want to stay broken up?
Because people with an avoidant attachment style fear not being lovable or good enough, feeling criticized or judged by loved ones can be particularly painful. Especially when it comes to things that they are not so comfortable with, such as their emotions and feelings.
Fearful-avoidant attachment is often considered the worst in terms of potential negative outcomes. For example, multiple studies have shown that there is an association between fearful-avoidant attachment and depression.
Fearful Avoidant
These individuals frequently find themselves bouncing between highs and lows in both relationships and friendships. They fear being isolated from others, but also push people away and are inherently suspicious. They may start fights or create conflict, but fear rejection. They have few close friends.
A fearful-avoidant will assume the pieces of the puzzle they arent provided and create their own story. Lying, stealing, cheating, and obvious large-scale issues are big triggers.
Communicating with empathy, using “I” statements, and avoiding blaming and criticism are some of the ways to help avoidant partners feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings, as well as change their behaviors in time. “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.”
The fearful avoidant attachment style occurs in about 7% of the population and typically develops in the first 18 months of life. During this formative period, a child's caregiver may have behaved chaotically or bizarrely. Sometimes the parent could even behave aggressively, causing the child to see them as “scary”.
If you want to stay in the relationship, you should be aware that you may also have to endure some “testing behaviors.” The person with the fearful style may engage in some negative or challenging behaviors to see if you are going to reject or hurt them.
Studies have found that avoidant attachers are less likely to date or seek relationships. In other words, they are more prone to having smaller social circles and, thus, may stay single for longer periods of time. Avoidant attachers are thus more susceptible to social loneliness and isolation.
The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style. It is often seen in people who have been physically, verbally, or sexually abused in their childhood.
For example, fearful avoidants typically are very good at reading people due to the fact that there was unpredictability in their upbringing and their best survival mechanism was hyper-vigilance.
Those with fearful-avoidant attachments want love from others. They may even crave that affection. But, at the same time, they are reluctant to have close or intimate relationships. This is a unique combination of anxiously craving affection and avoiding it at any cost.
A child with a fearful avoidant attachment often desires comfort and closeness with their caregiver but once close, they act fearful and untrusting. The child may avoid eye contact, scream in an attempt to engage their caregiver, or seek attention to only shut it down promptly.
People with a fearful avoidant attachment style have low self-esteem and elevated anxiety. They will be extremely hard on themselves and think that their inability to form close bonds is due to their own worthlessness or unattractiveness.
Secondly, Fearful-Avoidant children were persistently furious and expressed different feelings through their anger. Thirdly, Anxious-Preoccupied children were overwhelmed with an emotional overflow that they could detach or become aggressive toward themselves or others.
According to Schumann and Orehek, avoidant individuals were less likely to offer a comprehensive apology. Instead, they were defensive, prone to justify their behavior, blame the other person and make excuses.
People with an avoidant attachment style tend to cope with abandonment issues by not allowing people to get close to them, and not opening up and trusting others. They may be characteristically distant, private, or withdrawn.
Dating a fearful avoidant can be challenging as they have a tendency to push people away when they feel overwhelmed by intimacy. They may struggle with being vulnerable or expressing their emotions, which can make it difficult for their partner to understand their needs and feelings.