Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.
Chemistry is born of several different factors like physical attraction, mental stimulation, shared values and interests.
Strong chemistry between a man and woman is a feeling of intense attraction felt by both the man and woman. In many cases, these feelings are accompanied by the desire to be intimate with themselves, spend more time together, and even commit to something bigger (sometimes).
Simply put, the feeling of chemistry with another person is that of connection. It's a draw to someone else that makes you want more of them. That doesn't have to be in a romantic relationship context, though that is the way we most often use the word. A few common types of chemistry are outlined below.
Intense chemistry is never one-sided
Just as when you immediately like someone and they like you back, in a class, as a friend — chemistry works the same way. It is guided by neurochemicals in our brain that evolutionarily helps us select the best mating partner and partners for survival.
Sometimes instant chemistry is actually a red flag, not a green light. Our subconscious is very good at detecting people who feel like 'home' - those who can wound us in a familiar way. We can confuse the intense energy as love when it's anxiety and an activated nervous system.
Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.
Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.
The chemistry between people can be seen in body language or subtle ways, such as eye contact, flirting, banter, constant focus, and losing track of time. If you have chemistry with someone, you can often feel it in your gut.
Chemistry in a relationship is an intense feeling of connection. Romantic partners can build chemistry over time by practicing open communication and developing trust.
Usually, chemistry lasts from 1 ½ to 3 years before it wears off.
Testosterone and estrogen drive lust; dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin create attraction; and oxytocin and vasopressin mediate attachment.
Good looks, ambition, and a good sense of humor are common qualities that people seek out. But there are other factors you're likely unaware of that play an important part in who you're attracted to. Past experiences, proximity, and biology all have a role in determining who catches our attention and who doesn't.
Although the word "chemistry," referring to a romantic and sexual spark, is not an official, scientific term, the phenomenon is indeed backed by science.
Or, does chemistry fade over time? The answer is no, not necessarily. You can still have chemistry as time goes on. It can even build over months and years.
"Chemistry is really about shared values, interests and excitement about spending time together. It isn't something that usually happens 'instantly' but grows over time," Safran tells Elite Daily.
Dr. Harville Hendrix explains that the “chemistry” you feel upon love at first sight may be a signal from your unconscious mind that is seeking to relive childhood trauma from a position of control.
Good chemistry can happen between a romantic partner and someone you just really click with. When it's a romantic partner, it's sexual. It feels magnetic, likes there's static or sparks in the air. You get goosebumps or a tingly warm feeling.
Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
Emotional attraction can be triggered in several ways. Empathy, honesty, and integrity form the foundation, and humor is often the cherry on top. For some people, emotional attraction is innate. Both parties fall fast and hard for each other — like they've known one another before.
So yes, chemistry can be one-sided, and it is up to you to pinpoint the patterns in your life so that you can set yourself up for meeting the right person with whom you can build something solid.
A "spark" can also take the form of a sinking feeling, goosebumps, or butterflies in your stomach feeling when you look at them, get a call from them, they touch you, etc. That spark is just being excited to be with them.